Someday we'll put it together and get it all done!

Thankful day 6 - Rain

2011-11-07T14:49:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for rain. I usually am not a fan of rain...at least not the rain we get around here. It is a cold, winter rain. We don't get warm summer rain around here, it is just dry as a desert until it starts to turn cold and then it rains for months on end. I would much prefer snow when it is cold because it is fun to play in and makes everything so pretty. I miss snow, but that is beside the point. I am thankful for rain today because it allowed me to hear the sweet innocence and giggles of my two youngest as they unabashedly danced in the rain.

Thankful day 5 - my sisters

2011-11-05T14:43:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for my sisters. How many people will be in my corner no matter what life may bring my way? I have two sisters, one older and one younger and we are all very different. We had our share of sibling rivalry, but you better believe that no one was allowed to disparage either one of them around me. As the years have gone on we have each traveled very different paths, but I love them with all of my heart and know that as time goes on I can count on them whenever I need them, and I hope they know that I would do the same for them in a heartbeat. I love you TyRee and Brandee…I’m lucky to call you my sisters.

Thankful day 4 - Friends

2011-11-04T14:33:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for friends. I had the opportunity to wake up at an unearthly hour, drag my two youngest out of bed and to drive 45 minutes away to go out to breakfast with a dear friend and take her to the airport. She lives in Arizona but was in town (a few towns away) for a business meeting and needed a ride to the airport. She is one of my best friends (we met in college) and years have gone by in between when we have had the opportunity to see each but every time we do it is like no time has passed at all. I don’t have a lot of friends (outside of my family) but the ones that I do have are all like that and they mean the world to me. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for them and I know the feeling is reciprocated. So, today I am thankful for those friendships that will last the test of time, you are dearly loved.

Thankful Day 3 - Devyn

2011-11-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

I know this is a little redundant, but today I couldn't not post about being thankful for Devyn. No, I am not more thankful for her than my other children, but today is her birthday. She is 4 years old today and as precocious as ever. She is sweet and thoughtful and so willing to share, but then there is the other side of her. She is by far my most difficult child right now. She throws tantrums at the drop of a hat, but even with all of that you can't help but love her. She has the cutest giggle and is so fun. So today I am thankful for being blessed with having Devyn in our lives. I can't imagine life without her.

Thankful Day 2 - my husband

2011-11-02T13:30:00.001-07:00

I saw this "sign" on Pinterest today so I decided it would be perfect for my Thankful post for the day. This is my husband! He is constantly telling me how beautiful I am and that I am pretty without make-up. He tells me he is lucky to call me his wife but I think I am the lucky one. He does little things like bring me lunch or runs errands for me. He is a good father and I am blessed to call him mine. I love him with all of my heart and am thankful that I am lucky enough to have had him enter my life, not once, but twice and I don't plan on ever letting him go.

November - Thankful day 1 - my children

2011-11-01T14:45:00.001-07:00

November is my absolute favorite month of the year. Call me narcissistic but I think a lot of it stems from the fact that I was born in November so my early memories of this month just radiate happiness to me. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, also in November. My husband gives me a hard time that my favorite holiday is one that revolves around gluttony, and yes a full-fledged turkey dinner is my all-time favorite, but I think it has more to do with the warmth and coziness and being surrounded by family. I love the soft crunch of the fallen leaves beneath your feet, the crispness to the air, wearing sweaters and having more of an excuse to snuggle up with loved ones on the couch to keep warm. So, in honor of my favorite month and favorite holiday I want to focus on everything that I am thankful for. I have seen this done before and decided it is a wonderful idea. I am going to post one thing that I am thankful for everyday this month.

Deciding where to start is the hardest part for me. There are so many people and so many things that I have to be thankful for so choosing one of those to begin with is tricky, but I think I am going to start with my children. I have been blessed to have given birth to four children and each one of them holds a separate piece of my heart. I cannot express enough how much I love them and how grateful I am to have each of them as a part of my life. I learn and grow from them, I experience the greatest heartache and the greatest joy because of them and I am a better person for each one of them having entered into my life.

Define Necessity!

2011-10-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

I saw this picture on Facebook a few days ago and it has haunted me ever since. Every time I look at this picture it makes me cry, literally. How dare we as a human race let his happen! How can we just continue to fill our coffer more and more while there are others, children, who go to bed hungry every night? I will be the first to admit that I am right there with everyone else. Christmas has become more and more commercial, and as much as I try to remind my children (and myself for that matter) that the true reason we celebrate Christmas is to remember the birth of Christ, it just gets lost sometimes in all the shopping and decorating and things.

After I saw this picture I went home and talked to my husband about it and decided that we are going to rethink Christmas this year. (He is all for slimming down Christmas and not because of the money, but because he has been to and lived in multiple 3rd world countries.) One thing I did was look into the World Food Programme. It is the United Nations program to help fight hunger around the world. For just $50 you can feed a school child for a year! A YEAR, oftentimes for the price of just one gift under the tree.

So, that night we had a family meeting, showed this picture to the kids and told them that we have decided to take $50 from each of their "Christmas budgets" and give it to the World Food Programme in honor of them. My 13 year old took it the hardest, although she completely understands, but did tell us that it made her a little sad. We live in an affluent area where although I think her Christmases border on the lavish they pale in comparison to quite a few of her friends, so I get it. I see where she is coming from. But I also know in the long run she will feel the spirit in which this is meant. It is hopefully saving the life of another child in honor of her. Someday she will look back and it will mean something to her. She will have forgotten what she got from "Santa Clause" but she will remember this.

I sometime suffer from the feelings of "I can't change it all by myself," which is true I can't, but I can at least do something. There are plenty of opportunities to help others though out the year. I am hoping that I remember to take those opportunities. We don't have a lot of excess when you look at our "neighbors" but when you look at the world at-large we are truly and richly blessed. It is my goal to always remember that and to always try and make the life of someone else a little better in any way I can.

So, go and do something for your fellow man, whatever that might be. Just try and make someone else's day a little better, a little brighter then it was before you came along. You won't regret it, I promise!

(Oh and as a side note, I've seen people try and counter the whole Christmas thing being based around Christ with the fact that it is based on a pagan holiday. Yes I do realize that our Christmas is actually based on a pagan holiday, but I also know that it is the spirit that counts. Heavenly Father and Jesus understand when we are celebrating for the right reason (as long as we are). Christians back in the day just converted pagan holidays over to Christian holidays so as to make the transition/conversion for all those pesky pagans to Christianity easier. :-)

Pillows

2011-04-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

I am in LOVE with these throw pillows:

But of course I have no idea where to find them. Just got this email in my inbox that included this picture and now I NEED them ;-). If anyone sees anything like these in your travels would you be so kind as to let me know where...I would really appreciate it.

Track

2011-04-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

Ari is in Jr. High this year and has been taking full advantage of their sports program (which I love.) It keeps her active and out of trouble, what more could I want?

At her school any 7th or 8th grader that wants to participate in sports gets to...no try outs, so she has gotten to try any sport that she wants. It means that their teams don't do so well against the other schools typically, but hey, like I said she's learning what sports she likes and wants to participate in and staying out of trouble at the same time.

So far she has played basketball and soccer and now track. She refused to do cross country in the fall (she has no endurance and has no desire to change that...ha ha ha) and she went to two days of volleyball and decided it wasn't for her. Although they have intermural sports at lunch and I guess she has done pretty well so a few of the players from the team this year have asked her to play next year so we'll see.

With so many kids on each team it means that often playing time is short, but luckily for Ari she is on the tall side so she played pretty often in basketball and played center (which she didn't really like, but loved the extra playing time.)

For soccer the coach was up front that he would play the better players more often which I didn't think was really fair, but it worked out for Ari because she's been playing soccer for years and is pretty good.

Track just started last week and on Thursday she was invited to run in a high school invitational meet, with schools coming from all over the area (a ton of them from the Bay Area). She was excited about that and I didn't realize what an honor it was until we got there and from her team of 135 kids only 20 were invited to this meet. They only had four races for the Jr. High kids, a girls and then a boys 800 (too long for Ari) and a 200 for boys and then girls. Ari says her best race is the 100m (nice and short so she can just run all out and be done, so for the invitational she ran the 200m. She came in 5th which isn't to bad considering she had only been to three track practices in her life at that point. I find that now that I have two little ones I don't take as many pictures of Ari's events because I'm taking care of one child while Ken is taking care of the other one, so I only got a couple picture at her meet last Friday, but her first meet against other schools in the area is this Thursday so maybe I'll get some more pictures.

9 Months Old

2011-04-19T15:01:00.001-07:00

I am a terrible blogger, but I took a few pictures of Kai on Sunday because it was his 9 month birthday so I thought I would post a few. It is so hard for me to believe how big my little man is getting.

'Sesame Street' Teaches Self-Esteem

2010-10-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

'Sesame Street' Teaches Self-Esteem

Have you seen this Sesame Street video (click on the above link to watch)? Oh how I wish this had been around when Ari was younger. I can't even count the number of times that Ari would tell me she wanted long, straight blond hair "like you mom." It would break my heart every time. I always tried to keep it healthy and do any number of cute things with her hair so that she would feel good in the hair that God gave her. Like it or not hair is a big part of most women's identity and self esteem and I wanted to give her a reason to be proud of her hair. She would have people all the time comment on how cute her hair was and just want to touch it and feel how soft it was. After years of this she would get so sick of random strangers asking to feel her hair, but I always had hopes that this attention would help her understand how beautiful her hair really is, but I'm not sure that it really made any difference. She's wanted to chemically straighten it for as long as I can remember and I have refused to let her. Being that she is biracial her hair is pretty unique. It is very soft but very curly. Her hair is thinner and finer than mine, but because of all the curl it looks big and frizzy if you don't do anything to it. It also does not grow! I mean of course it grows, but I can count on two hands the number of times she's had her hair trimmed in her entire life and yet it is still no longer than a few inches below her shoulders when it's soaking wet. This is not uncommon for black hair, but it doesn't change the fact that she has watched me cut all my hair off to donate to locks of love on two separate occasions and both times it's grown back longer than hers within a year’s time. Because her hair is unique and a combination of black and white hair I'm afraid that if I let her get her hair chemically straightened it will be too harsh on her hair and then it will all break off and because her hair grows so slowly she will have virtually no hair. I have toyed with the idea of letting her but knowing how unique her hair is I just don't know who to go to that will understand its complexities and not destroy her hair. When I got my first perm (way back in the 80s) I had waist length hair and the lady processed it too long and I had a bunch of my hair break off. I was 10 years old I think and wore my hair in pony tails quite often and would have little tufts of hair that stuck out for months that were trying to grow back from that little episode. Ari’s hair would literally take years to grow back if that happened.

We've had her hair braided a few times which she likes because it gives her the long hair that she doesn’t have to do much with everyday, but 1) it's ridiculously expensive ($100 and it lasts approx. 3 weeks) and 2) I’ve heard that it’s actually not that great for your hair because it puts too much strain on the hair follicle.

I love that this sesame street video encourages girls to love their hair just the way it is…but it’s a little late for Ari. She has already formed her opinion, along with the media’s help unfortunately on what is deemed attractive. I want Ari to see the Chris Rock movie Good Hair, but knowing how Chris Rock can be I’m afraid it might be a little crude for her so I need to watch it first and just haven’t gotten around to it yet.

If anyone has any great suggestions on both loving the hair that she has and any good stylists or products/procedures that would give her more manageable hair but won’t destroy it in the process I’m all ears.

(These are just some random pictures of Ari's hair. I used to do all kinds of "cute" things with it, but she is now in that awkward age where all girls are doing their own hair and think it looks really good. Yeah, I went through that phase and wonder why no one told me how bad my hair looked...ha ha ha. But really she usually just pulls it back in a pony tail so it's not so unruly.)

(I absolulety love these tight ringlets that it curls into when just the right amount of product is used...)

(The braids!)

For Ari

2010-10-21T08:43:00.001-07:00

Chicks dig scars...and Dimples!

2010-09-27T11:47:00.001-07:00

Every time Kai smiles and those dimples come out I tell him he has to be a nice boy and treat girls right...what girl can resist a smile like that?

New Man in My Life

2010-09-23T15:17:00.001-07:00

I must confess that there is a new man in my life! Please don’t get me wrong, I love my husband with every fiber of my being, but there is just something that I can’t resist about my new love. I’m head-over-heels for him and have been meaning to introduce him to the blogging world for a few months now but have not gotten around to it yet. I think it has to do with my complete and total infatuation with him and that I cannot tear myself away from him.

Let me tell you a little about him. He has dark hair and an olive completion. He has a smile that melts my heart and when I hold him close he coos sweet nothings in my ear that would surely make any woman swoon. And to top it all off, he adores my girls, and they him. Believe it or not, my husband doesn’t even mind this affair of the heart; he’s pretty taken by him as well.

Meet Malakai (otherwise known as Kai), born July 17

(This is what I refer to as his victory pose, which he assumes quite often when getting his diaper changed)

Beach

2010-06-01T16:36:00.000-07:00

Over Memorial Day weekend we drove over to the beach for something a little bit different. These are just a bunch of pictures that I took. The water was really cold (we live in NorCal so none of that warm San Diego ocean experience) so Devyn was more than happy to just stand on the sand and let the surf come up and wash over her feet. Ari was the only brave one in the bunch that would actually go out into the water.

(Showing me a mussel she found)

(This was so funny because in the above picture she's digging a hole in the sand and when she looked up at me the entire side of her face was covered in sand.)

(Just as a side note, a woman came up to me and commented on how cute and "appropriate" Ari's swimsuit was. She was very impressed as "appropriate" swimsuits are so hard to find anymore. I made sure to tell Ari because all of her friends wear tiny little bikinis and I wanted her to know that people do notice when she isn't showing everything off!

Just a bunch of pictures for those who care to see more pictures of my kids. We had a blast and will have to go back, but I will definitely be better about putting sun screen on. I put sunscreen on my face and arms, but was wearing capris so I didn't think to put it on my legs. I literally got one of the worst sunburns of my life, but only half way up my shins...not only does it look stupid, but now a week and a half later it is still red and sore...yikes!

Devyn Devyn Bo Bevyn

2010-05-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

Devyn is growing up so fast and I find myself already forgetting some of the cute things that she says and does so I want to get some of them documented before I forget anymore.

Things she says:

Reason why: Like any toddler she loves to question why things are the way they are, but she never just asks why, it's always "reason why?" It is often combined with a whole phrase as well, i.e. “Reason why going there?”

Which where: This one is baffling...we have no idea why she started saying this but it just means "where?" If she wants to ask where we are going or where something is it's always "which where?"

Yesiree: She will say yes sometimes, but usually its yesiree.

Licious: Always said very emphatically, and with a strong emphasis on the Lish sound. This means delicious (and she has actually just recently started saying delicious more), but is often said when she really wants something, i.e. if she finds a lollipop, she will bring it in and show you and say “licious” repeatedly as a way of saying, I really like lollipops and I really want this one, can I have it. She will also do the same thing with the word “yummy” as well.

Me’s: This is another baffling one as she used to say “mine” but now it’s transformed to me’s, like when she’s asking if something is her she looks at you questioningly and say “Me’s?”

Nay Nay: This one has actually gone away, but for probably almost a year this was her word for “thank you.” We have no idea where it came from and we could get her to say thank and you separately, but not together. When she was being appreciative and wanted to say thank you it always reverted back to "nay nay," but this has changed in the last couple of months.

I luf you toooooo much: I love this one! Instead of telling you she loves you so much, it’s “I luf you toooooo much” and it’s just adorable (usually paired with a great big hug!)

(Just a close up of her hair for fun!)

Things she does:

Devyn is really into the alphabet right now. She refuses to slow down when singing the song though so she flies past “i” through “p” and it’s hard to tell what she’s saying, but then slows down again. Her favorite part is “w,x,y & z”. She will say that part just randomly all day long. She also loves to look for letters on building and gets all excited shouting “abc’s” while pointing and has us read and spell out to her what it says. She is getting really good at being able to tell us the letters now though. She also is doing really well with counting but specifically chooses to skip the number 3. She didn’t used to do this, so yet again, baffling. She is just one very headstrong child and won’t be told what to say and when.

She loves all creatures great and small, especially small. I’ve talked about her love of spiders before, but she is also obsessed with snails. She goes out snail hunting every time it rains.

Even though she loves the creepy crawlies she is very much a girly girl. She love to twirl when she gets a dress or skirt on the will twirl. About a month ago I put a new skirt on her and she started twirling around the living room saying “me a princess, me a princess” and then got a look of dejection on her face and using hand motions (of putting a crown on her head) she said “no, crown.” It was too cute so we went and cut out some paper and made her a crown right away…She decorated it will all kinds of beads and shiny things and she now loves to put it on and say “me a princess.” What’s funny about this is she has never even seem any of the princess movies or anything. I don’t know where she came up with this princess stuff, but I think it must be born into her. Ari has never really wanted anything to do with princesses so who knows. (Unfortunately I don't think I've taken any pictures of her in her crown.)

(This is what she's looking at in the above picture)

Well, this is really all I can think of for now, but hopefully I’ll be posting more about both Ari and Devyn as they are both growing up so fast.

Singing in the rain...

2010-04-12T11:11:00.001-07:00

Ok, not really singing, but playing in the rain. Grandma got Devyn all this cute matching rain gear for Christmas and Devyn loves it all. I had to put the umbrella up where she couldn't get it because it was getting bent from her playing with it in the house all the time. So when DH got it out for her to use today she was so excited to use her "rain brella."

She also loves using the rain boots for dress up. It was hilarious last week when she had just gotten out of the tub and was running around "nakey" and then put these rain boots on...I had to get pictures...but I don't dare post them as you never know what creepy person could find them. But trust me, they are hilarious...I couldn't stop laughing because she just played around like it was normal to be walking around in rain boots and nothing else.

Looking at the snails (she loves the snails!)

Only in Books...

2010-03-31T14:07:00.000-07:00

"Only in books has mankind known perfect truth, love and beauty." -George Bernard Shaw

A while back on one of those meme’s going around on Facebook or through email where you have to check off all of the things on a specific list that you had done at this point in your life, one of the listed items was “Read at least 50 books in one year”. I rarely complete those meme’s and I don’t think I did that one, but it got me to thinking about how many books I do and don’t read. I can honestly say that I don’t think I’ve ever even come close to reading 50 books in a year. When I was younger I didn’t like to read that much. Oh, I read most of the Sweet Valley Twins books and all the Christopher Pike books I could get my hands on, but I just wasn’t a voracious reader. It might have been because I tend to be a slow reader, or the fact that I can’t have any distractions while I’m reading (I actually tend to listen to Jazz music with no words to help tune out any other distractions) or possible I just didn’t like a lot of the books I was “given” to read at school. Who knows, but then I worked at a book store one summer and each of the employees had to write up a little review of a book they liked to have it displayed on the “employee pick of the month” wall. So, I started reading more and fell in love! So, I decided that this 50 books in a year thing might be a fun challenge for me. It would have been a lot easier back before I was married and had kids and a full-time job because my “free” time was a lot more plentiful back then, but I’m still going to give it a try. What have I got to lose? Reading a lot more books along the way, of which I’m sure some will be wonderful and life changing, while others I’m afraid will be lacking. But how else will I ever find out.

I actually started this challenge back in February. So far I’m up to eight books! Since it is just for myself I’m making the rules however and I’m including books we read together as a family and books that I read with Ari. I am not however including books I read with Devyn...ha ha ha. I would be up to my 50 books in no time since I read multiple books a day to her. A few weeks ago Ari was complaining a little that I read at least two stories to Devyn every night at bedtime, but I don’t read to her anymore at bedtime. I kind of just thought she had gotten old enough that she didn’t care if I read to her anymore and she is a voracious reader herself so she if often trying to sneak in a few pages of whatever book she is reading at the moment at bedtime anyway. But, I decided since she asked it certainly couldn’t hurt to have a little one on one time with her so we started a book that she had gotten from a book fair some time ago but never gotten around to reading, The Giver by Lois Lowry. We also like to read together as a family, well the three oldest of us that can actually understand what’s going on in the story anyway, and we read all the time in the car instead of listening to the radio. Right now we are reading the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series and I’m thoroughly enjoying them. That leaves 4 books that I read just for myself. The Book Thief, A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Last Song and The Lucky One. I liked A Thousand Splendid Suns by far better than any of the rest…a must read in my opinion! If you would like to follow along with my reading journey I will be tracking all of my books on Good Reads. I only tend to review books if I have strong feelings but I do always rate them. Right now I'm reading four books, The 4th Percey Jackson book as a family, Gathering Blue with Ari, The Color of Water on my own and The Lost Symbol with Ken! Also, if you have any suggestions for must read books I’d love to hear them…I’ve got a ways to go to get to 50 books :-)

While I’m on the topic of book suggestions, if there are any teachers out there, or just anyone who knows a lot about books, I’m looking for good ideas for Ari. She is a very good reader. In fact while we were at her parent teacher conference the a couple weeks ago her teacher told us she had the highest Lexile level (just a way for teachers to determine a student’s reading comprehension ability) in her class…even higher than the teacher’s (although it’s a bit of a misnomer seeing as the teachers was rated at 1500+ and Ari’s is 1502). The problem with this is that most of the books that fit into her reading range either aren’t necessarily appropriate for her or they are just not interesting to her. She is only 11, but wants to start reading more “teenage” type books like the Twilight series. Most of her friends have read it, her teacher even has them in the classroom, but I just don’t think they are appropriate for an 11 year old (especially the 4th book) so I’m making her wait. I told her she can read them when she’s 13, which she’s not thrilled about. But how do I continue to encourage her love of reading and encourage her to read at a “challenging” level without compromising on what it is that I allow her to read? Any suggestions would be helpful!!!

Follow up on dresses

2010-03-31T14:01:00.001-07:00

Thank you for all of your suggestions.

We finally found this cute matching skirt and dress for Ari and Devyn...thanks Grandma...and the skirt for Ari is perfect. Plenty long enough and the shirt she picked out is cute and modest as well.

Dresses

2010-03-11T11:08:00.001-08:00

Every year growing up my sisters and I got new Easter dresses. I loved getting a new dress in the spring and I loved the tradition. My mom even continued it on into my college years and I have a sorority sister that still remembers that and thought it was the neatest tradition. I just thought it was what everyone did, but apparently that isn’t so.

Because I loved it so much it’s a tradition I’ve kept up with my girls. Often they are beautiful dresses made by Grandma (my mom). My 11 year old is growing up though and she’s not so into dresses to begin with. She is starting to be able to wear clothes from the Jrs. Sections and that is her preferred area to shop since she is 11 going on 17. And I have to admit that the dresses in the kids section do seem to be a little on the juvenile side for her. My issue is that as I’ve looked around online (we don’t have any department stores in my city) I’m very disillusioned with what I’m able to find:

Don't get me wrong, some of these dresses are "cute" but definitely not appropriate.

Either it’s too short, too low cut, sleeveless or pretty much looks like the wearer should be working a corner somewhere. Most of which I wouldn’t even let a 17 year old wear let alone an 11 year old. Ari is also very picky. She’s pretty much a tomboy and prefers jeans and t-shirts and preferably in black, so finding any dress or skirt that she’s willing to wear in the first place is pretty difficult without all the challenges of modesty.

We recently had parent teacher conferences and all the 6th graders had to bring home, sign and have their parents sign a behavioral contract because there have been so many issues this year, and if they didn’t follow these rules they would miss one or more of the end of the year activities including 6th grade graduation. One of the bullet point items on the list was that the students follow the school dress code. I’ve long thought that the school was way too lenient on what the kids could wear to school and it’s sometimes a challenge for Ari to understand why she can’t wear some of the things her friends are wearing. But during this conference we asked the teacher about the contract and if Ari was an offender in any of the category. She went over the list with us point by point and said that she didn’t feel Ari was having issues with any of the items on the list, but she did mention that they were having a lot of problems with girls showing too much cleavage…but that Ari had never been one of them (to which DH replied…”nor will she be”), but seriously, showing cleavage in the 6th grade? What is wrong with parents these days?

So, anyone have any good ideas as to where I could look for a not too dressy, yet not too casual (it will be for church) dress that’s not too immature, but doesn’t make my daughter look like she’s trying to be a street walker?

Big Bad World

2010-01-05T10:47:00.001-08:00

It is such a cliché to say that kids grow up way to fast…every parent thinks that and every child wishes they could grow up faster so they can do what the older kids are doing…but it really does feel like time flies by when you are a parent.

I am feeling completely out of sorts because my not so little girl anymore is off to outdoor school (from here on out referred to as Taylor Bluff*)this week and it’s the first time in her life that I’ve been away from her for any amount of time that she wasn’t at least with family. Even when she goes to my parents I can still call and talk to her, but not now. Here every 6th grader goes to outdoor school for a week where they hike and learn all kinds of things that you can’t do hands on in a classroom. Ari has been excited about going for the last three years and told us we weren’t allowed to move from California until she got to go to Taylor Bluff. I’m excited for her and I hope she has a great time, but she left yesterday morning, it’s over an hour and a half away and I have no communication with her until Friday afternoon. She’s growing up and I’m not sure I’m ready yet for her to be out there in this big bad world all on her own. So for now I’m a little out of sorts and lamenting the fact that my little girl isn’t so little anymore.

Saying goodbye!

Devyn is s little out of sorts as well...she keeps shrugging her shoulders while saying "Ari" as her way of asking why Ari isn't home yet. We keep telling her that Ari is at camp and will be home in a few days, but obviously she doesn't get it.

*Name changed to protect Ari while she is away from home.

Personalized message from Santa

2009-12-17T15:15:00.001-08:00

If you have children you really need to go here

and create a personalized video message from Santa.

They were talking about this on the radio

this morning and it's really cute.

You input a few specific things about your child,

like eye color and hair color and a specific gift they've asked for.

Then it emails a message that is personalized just for them...

what kid wouldn't like that?

Here are a couple of screen shots from Devyn's video:

Have fun!

Pretty Please with a Cherry on Top

2009-11-09T19:51:00.000-08:00

If I ask very nice and say pretty please with a cherry on top would you do something for me?

I thought this picture of my girls in their Halloween costumes turned out so cute that I entered it into a costume contest on Facebook.

If you have a Facebook account would you pretty please with a cherry on top go and vote for it?

Just click this link and vote (and then pass it along to your friends):

http://apps.facebook.com/ivillageapp/contest/entries/browse/305?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=posttoprofile&utm_campaign=halloweencontest

Along Came a Spider...

2009-11-01T13:17:00.000-08:00

Little Miss Muffet

sat on a tuffet

Eating her curds and whey,

Along came a spider,

Who sat down beside her

And frightened Miss Muffet away

Devyn absolutely loves spiders. I mean the real things…we have all kinds of spiders that live in our neighborhood and she has to go and look at them every time we come or go. Well, a couple of months ago I was thinking about how it would be so cute for Devyn to be a spider for Halloween, I then had an epiphany that Ari should be Little Miss Muffet to carry on the theme. Unfortunately when I was looking I couldn't find any spider costumes I liked and trying to convince my eleven year old (that prefers to be something dark and scary for Halloween) that she wanted to be a fairy tale character was not looking like it was going to be in the cards. Then I had a brilliant idea. My little sister just happens to be in grad school for costume design, so I proposed my ideas to her with the stipulation that Ari’s costume couldn’t be cutesy, but maybe something more Goth. She designed, but didn’t have the time to make them (being that she is in grad school and all) so my mom stepped in and put these masterpieces together…

They turned out even better than I could have imagined and the girls had so much fun. Ari went off with her friends, but we had over a dozen people just randomly stop us and ask to take pictures of Devyn (including one mom who’s daughter complained “mom, you haven’t even taken any pictures of me yet) because she looked so adorable…now what to do next year that will come even close?

This last one is a little dark because it was outside at the trunk-or-treat...and yes that is a real hearse behind the girls...we have a mortician in our ward who goes all out for Halloween...so fun!

Bellatrix Lestrange(ish)

2009-10-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

So as I'm talking about needing hairspray to do Ari's hair for her costume this afternoon I get told that today is actually crazy hair day. If you recall, we hcve kind of gone all out for crazy hair day in the past so for it to be sprung on me last minute was a little unnerving, not to mention who plans crazy hair day on Halloween...well I guess it's not technically Halloween, but every year our downtown does a huge trick-or-treating event and they are doing it today, not tomorrow, and our ward trunk-or-treat is tonight so it might as well be Halloween as far as I'm concerned. Don't most people finish off their costumes with hairstyles that compliment the costume? Well I do, so lucily for Ari the halloween hair we had planned is a little crazy, but looks somewhat like Bellatrix Lestrange. Here are just a couple pictures I got before she left for school (it doesn't look quite as big and ratted out like it does in real life).

Best-Kept Secret

2009-10-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

Whenever I get asked what I do and I tell people my job title I always get a look of bewilderment in return. No one has ever heard of my job and even when I try and explain what I do I get blank stares aimed in my direction. I’ve started to pretty much just preface it with “I’m a professional snoop” because that’s how DH describes it. He didn’t actually believe that it was a real profession and swore that it must be some made up job. Well, I suppose “professional snoop” does get to the nitty gritty of what I do and it somewhat sums up my job to help others to hopefully understand it. I mean, I had never heard of a Prospect Researcher (actually here we are called Prospect Analysts) before I just happened onto the position almost 5 years ago, how can I expect others to know what I do?

Imagine my surprise when I came across this article on the Best-Kept Secret Careers and lo and behold mine is #9 on that list. Well what do you know, it is a real job after all, and according to careerbuilder.com a pretty darn good one at that!

http://www.careerbuilder.com/Article/CB-1301-Job-Search-10-Best-Kept-Secret-Careers/?ArticleID=1301&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=c30d45dbd2954fac883da5b318b26655-308857144-VN-4&ns_siteid=ns_us_g_10_best_jobs_prospect_

I think their description sounds a little better than “professional snoop” but unless I carry around a copy of this it still might be the easiest description...

And, for the record, if you went to a university chances are they have at least one of me too, searching for those of you who have any indications of wealth, but on my salary I’ll never be the one searched for, just the one doing the searching…ha ha ha! (As a side note, we don’t waste our time on anyone who can’t give us at least $25,000, but usually not even until it looks like they can give at least in the $100,000 range)

Soccer has begun

2009-09-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

Well, it actually began over a month ago, but I’m a slacker and haven’t posted about it yet.

Ari’s 4th game of the season was on Saturday. It was the first away game, it was the third game played in above 100° temperatures and it was a tie. The girls weren’t thrilled…the first three games were wins and I think they really enjoyed the feeling of being undefeated. Of course they are still “undefeated” but it’s not the same when you have a tie on your record. I think the girls are playing really well together and I’m always impressed with how Ari is improving with her soccer skills. She in U12 this year…U12 is the first division where the kids are allowed to do headers…Ari’s done three (more than anyone else on her team)! She always makes sure we were watching too…”did you see that header I did?” As a mom I’m not so sure I’m thrilled with that. I’m glad she’s not afraid of the ball. I’m glad she’s using skills that she’s learning. But, can’t kids get brain damage from doing too many headers? Maybe I need to tell her to lay off the headers for a while, oh say, 5-10 years maybe?

(I think this picture is hilarious, although Ari might not be thrilled ;-)...it just goes to show that even after playing soccer in over 100° heat for over an hour she still has enough energy to run for the snack...ha ha ha!)

I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m not the type of mom to get really into the games. I go to every game and I cheer when I’m able to pay attention enough to know what’s going on (I do chase an almost two year old around for half of the games), but I don’t yell at the girls telling them where to be and what to be doing. Actually it was an interesting observation playing this away game. She doesn’t usually play away games and this was a community about 45 minutes away. I noticed that the parents there tended to be more of the yelling type. Their girls also tended to be more of the “aggressive” type (read pushing our team all over the field…Ari was literally lifted up off her feet and landed on her side…her coach told her “way to take one for the team” which just made her smile). We don’t see a whole lot of that in our community and I’m glad. I think it’s nice to let the kids learn the sport without the parents turning into raging idiots. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it hurt the girls one bit to be “roughed up” a little. It just shows them what they might come up against, but I’m glad that’s not what it’s all about around here. I’m sure it will be soon enough, but for now they are hopefully learning valuable skills and good sportsmanship.

Me like

2009-09-18T15:59:00.001-07:00

I was looking into getting a laptop and saw this:

Isn’t it adorable? Ok, I could take or leave the Asian girl on there, but I love the color and the tattooing…but most importantly I love that it says 1973! That’s the year I was born and I’m really weird that way...I have a particular fondness for things that I can tie to myself somehow. Is that weird?

It’s like Thanksgiving…it’s my favorite holiday and I think the reason is because my birthday falls on Thanksgiving every 7 years or something like that. Does that make me narcissistic? I hope not. Am I the only one like this? Would you want a laptop just because it had your year of birth in the design???

I won’t be getting this laptop for more than one reason:

1) I was looking into this before I found out that I’ll be taking a 6% paycut starting next month in the form or furlough days…you gotta love living in California during this wonderful recession!
2) I am NOT a fan of Dell computers because I have one and we got completely screwed over by them
3) And last but certainly not least my husband thinks it’s crazy to spend an extra $85 on the computer just because of the design, even if it does include my birth year…ha ha ha!

...but it sure is cute.

Playing with Picnik

2009-09-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

I was just playing around with some pictures of Devyn on Picnik and thought I'd share.

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind

2009-09-17T14:05:00.000-07:00

All growing up my parents had a reel to reel tape player which my dad swore by for sound quality. Obviously the music that we had to listen to on it was a little dated, but I loved it and it's some of that music that flows through a lot of my childhood memories and are therefore intertwined in the fabric of my life.

One of those albums was a Peter Paul and Mary album and I listened to that thing countless times in my youth. Still to this day I love the songs of Peter Paul and Mary, so much so that when I saw this beautifully illustrated picture book of Puff the Magic Dragon I had to get it for Devyn. It comes with a CD, but I think it’s only Peter that sings on it at a much later date and it’s just not the same as the old recordings by all three of them. Devyn loves her “dragon” book and we were looking at it just yesterday and then I learned that Mary passed away last night of leukemia. So, this post is in honor of her and her amazing voice. These are just a few of my favorites…I hope you enjoy.

PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON

Puff the Magic Dragon -

BLOWIN' IN THE WIND

Blowin In The Wind (Remastered LP Version) - Peter, Paul and Mary

WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE

Where Have All The Flowers Gone (Remastered LP Version) - Peter, Paul and Mary

IF I HAD A HAMMER

If I Had A Hammer - Peter, Paul and Mary

LEAVIN ON A JET PLANE

Leaving On A Jet Plane - Peter, Paul and Mary

LEMON TREE

Lemon Tree - Peter, Paul & Mary

Bats

2009-09-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

There are so many (past) things that I want to update on this blog, but for now I’ll start with last night.

Ever since we’ve moved here we have wanted to go on one of the bat tours given by the local wildlife association, but when we would remember to check out the dates and times (they only do 5 or 6 a year) we would be out of luck. A few months ago I happened to stop by my bosses office when she was attempting to sign up for one of the bat tours and complaining that almost all the ones she tried to get tickets for were sold out. So, I jumped on it and got tickets that night, for the last tour that still had openings. Little did we know three months ago when we signed up for the tour that it would be the same day and time as Ari’s back to school night, so we had to do some finagling to meet her teacher and such at a different time, but it all worked out. Unfortunately for me however her teacher remembered that I had be the class coordinator last year for the end of the year BBQ and asked me to do it again since I would be an old hat at it. See, it’s a 6th grade only BBQ, but Ari was in a 5th-6th combo class last year and when her teacher asked for volunteers I told her I’d help out if she needed me to. She gladly accepted my help, but then as a side note mentioned something about it really would have been nice to have a 6th grade parent do it since it’s a 6th grade BBQ. Ari felt pretty special last year however; because there were only nine 5th grade students in that combo they got to do almost all the stuff the 6th graders got to do, therefore they were invited to the BBQ as well. So, long story short, I get to do it again this year, yippee!

So, back to the bats…

They have a little lecture before hand, which DH and I were dreading knowing how well Devyn was going to sit still for a 45 minute presentation on bats, and we were right…she was a terror! But at the end the kids were allowed to go up and see the bats close up which she loved! All the bats that live around here are Mexican Free Tail bats, and they are tiny, only about four or five inches long and it take three of them to make an ounce. There are two colonies of bats right around us, and by saying right around us I mean one of them(the small one) is a few hundred feet from our front door. I don’t know how many are there, probably a few hundred or so, but Devyn and Ari love to go and look at them and hear them chatter as cars drive under the bridge. The other colony, which we went on the tour to see, has approximately 25,000 bats and lives under the causeway that leads over to Sacramento. They are amazing to watch as they fly out at dusk. It looks like a wave of smoke billowing out from under the causeway.

(I didn't get the greatest pictures, but you get the idea)

It also happened to be a full mom last night so when you turned around from watching the bats this is what we saw.

(DH took this shot of the moon, he's a much better photographer than me)

My boss, Kathy, also ended up at the same tour and Devyn immediately fell in love with her daughter Claire who is six. Today Kathy said that Claire asked last night if she thought Devyn would want to be her sister...too cute.

By the way, I am totally addicted to this...I used it on a couple of these pictures. It's a photo editing site and you don't even have to have an account or anything. I would really like to have this photo editing program, but before I get that I'd really like to get this camera, which then I would really need to learn how to use it, so for now I'll just use Picnik!

Johari vs. Nohari (Perceptions)

2009-07-24T16:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard of a Johari window? According to Wikipedia it “is a cognitive psychological tool used to help people better understand their interpersonal communication and relationships.” I thought it might be fun to post it here...along with the Nohari window which focuses on your not-so good traits. So, click on the links below and fill it out and then create your own and I’ll fill it out. You can even fill it out if you don’t know me very well...it might be interesting to see what perceptions I’m giving off. :-)

Johari

Nohari

Waxing Nostalgic on YouTube

2009-06-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

Due to the passing of Michael Jackson I realized I had never shared the historically phenomenon that was the “Thriller” video with Ari so we decided to look it up on YouTube. She was not as impressed as she should have been…I mean it’s a classic. I distinctly remember when it came out…I was her age (am I really that old?), who I watched it with and what an amazing thing it was. On YouTube it brings up the links to “related content” so after the Thriller video we then started watching a number of Michael Jackson’s old videos…Beat It, Billie Jean and then moved onto the Jackson 5 (some of my all time favorite Michael ;-)

We were having so much fun waxing nostalgic that we just started looking up some of our favorite 80s cheese and it was hilarious! Way back in the day I had a huge crush on Morton Harket…which I mentioned to DH as we’re searching for great 80s videos and he looked at me like I was insane and told me I had to be making that name up…No, no I wasn’t. Morton Harket was the very pretty lead singer of one of my favorite groups when I was in Jr. High, A-Ha. DH did agree with me that the Take on Me video was a classic, but still chided me for remembering his name…ha ha ha!

Ari had fun, probably making fun of us…but she still seemed to enjoy herself, and Devyn had a blast just dancing away to all the music, but making sure that every one of us were on our feet dancing with her. We listened to everything from Aerosmith, Poison, Guns N Roses, A-Ha, U2, Skid Row, Bon Jovi, Rick Springfield, Pat Benatar, Boy George. We also came across this video compilation that plays maybe 10 second clips for 4 or 5 songs for each decade in the 80s…I don’t know whether to be ashamed or proud, but I knew the words to every song! I highly recommend a night just reminiscing like this on YouTube with your kids. They may laugh at you, but they’ll have a great time too and maybe even learn a little more about you.

DH and I have both decided we need to go and download a lot of those old songs…they are just fun to listen to sometimes. Next I think I may go and reminisce about my early childhood and listen to some Peter Paul and Mary, Sunny and Cher, Diana Ross, Looking Glass, and oh so many others.

Magnolias

2009-06-26T13:22:00.000-07:00

I got the following story in an email and it really touched me...unfortunatley I'm afraid that I don't always cope with life as well as I could...

Magnolias

I spent the week before my daughter's June wedding running last-minute trips to the caterer, florist, tuxedo shop, and the church about forty miles away.

As happy as I was that Patsy was marrying a good Christian young man, I felt laden with responsibilities as I watched my budget dwindle. So many details, so many bills, and so little time.

My son Jack was away at college, but he said he would be there to walk his younger sister down the aisle, taking the place of his dad who had died a few years before. He teased Patsy, saying he’d wanted to give her away since she was about three years old!

To save money, I gathered blossoms from several friends who had large magnolia trees. Their luscious, creamy-white blooms and slick green eaves would make beautiful arrangements against the rich dark wood inside the church.

After the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, we banked the podium area and choir loft with magnolias. As we left just before midnight, I felt tired but satisfied this would be the best wedding any bride had ever had! The music, the ceremony, the reception - and especially the flowers - would be remembered for years.

The big day arrived - the busiest day of my life - and while her bridesmaids helped Patsy to dress, her fiancé Tim walked with me to the sanctuary to do a final check. When we opened the door and felt a rush of hot air, I almost fainted; and then I saw them - all the beautiful white flowers were black. Funeral black. An electrical storm during the nighthad knocked out the air conditioning system, and on hat hot summer day, the flowers had wilted and died.

I panicked, knowing I didn't have time to drive back to our hometown, gather more flowers, and return in time for the wedding. Tim turned to me. 'Edna, can you get more flowers? I'll throw away these dead ones and put fresh flowers in these arrangements.

'I mumbled, 'Sure,' as he be-bopped down the hall to put on his cuff links.

Alone in the large sanctuary, I looked up at the dark wooden beams in the arched ceiling. 'Lord,' I prayed, 'please help me. I don't know anyone in this town. Help me find someone willing to give me flowers - in a hurry!' I scurried out praying for four things: the blessing of white magnolias, courage to find them in an unfamiliar yard, safety from any dog that may bite my leg, and a nice person who would not get out a shotgun when I asked to cut his tree to shreds.

As I left the church, I saw magnolia trees in the distance. I approached a house...no dog in sight, I knocked on the door and an older man answered. So far so good. No shotgun. When I stated my plea the man beamed, 'I'd be happy to!

'He climbed a stepladder and cut large boughs and handed them down to me. Minutes later, as I lifted the last armload into my car trunk, I said, 'Sir, you've made the mother of a bride happy today. 'No, Ma'am,' he said. 'You don't understand what's happening here. '

'What?' I asked.

'You see, my wife of sixty-seven years died on Monday. On Tuesday I received friends at the funeral home, and on Wednesday . . . He paused. I saw tears welling up in his eyes. 'On Wednesday I buried her.' He looked away. 'On Thursday most of my out-of-town relatives went back home, and on Friday - yesterday - my children left.'

I nodded. 'This morning,' he continued, 'I was sitting in my den crying out loud. I miss her so much. For the last sixteen years, as her health got worse, she needed me. But now nobody needs me. This morning I cried, 'Who needs an eighty-six-year-old wore-outman? Nobody!' I began to cry louder. 'Nobody needs me!' About that time, you knocked, and said, 'Sir, I need you. 'I stood with my mouth open.
He asked, 'Are you an angel?

The way the light shone around your head into my dark living room...'I assured him I was no angel. He smiled. 'Do you know what I was thinking when I handed you those magnolias?'

'No..'

'I decided I'm needed. My flowers are needed. Why, I might have a flower ministry! I could give them to everyone! Some caskets at the funeral home have no flowers. People need flowers at times like that and I have lots of them. They're all over the backyard! I can give them to hospitals, churches - all sorts of places. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to serve the Lord until the day He calls me home!

'I drove back to the church, filled with wonder. On Patsy's wedding day, if anyone had asked me to encourage someone who was hurting, I would have said, 'Forget it! It's my only daughter's wedding, for goodness' sake! There is no way I can minister to anyone today.

'But God found a way. Through dead flowers.

'Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.'

Be The Match

2009-06-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

I've been on the Bone Marrow Registry for a couple years now...there was a drive for donors in my city because their was a local kids who needed a transplant. I had looked into it before, but it cost $75 at the time to be put on the list and there were always other places that my money went. So, when the drive was here DH and I went and got put on...but found out that because I have Native American blood and he is half Filipino we would have been put on for free anyway. Race plays a part in bone marrow matches and they have very few minorities and even fewer mixed race donors on the list so to encourge more diversity they make it free for minorities. 70% of people needing a transplant don't have a donor match in their family therefore this registry is critical. Obviously the more people that are on it the greater the chance of them finding a match and saving someone's life.

Anyway, I just got a letter from stating that they had a new website, Be The Match dot com, and asking me to go to the website and make sure my information was updated. While there I found out until Monday, June 22 anyone can be added to the registry for FREE! (As long as there is still funding.) Go there now! It's easy and painless and you could save a life!

You know you're in San Francisco when...

2009-06-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

you go to the restroom and the sign on the door reads:

Self-Identified
Women

Please Respect Diversity

I was there for work yesterday :-) and it was a good reminder to me why we don't go there more often...not this sign, but the fact that it took an hour and a half to get there, but 4 HOURS to get home :-(

Miss Spider and Car Buying

2009-05-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

When Ari was little her absolute favorite book was Miss Spider's New Car (the board book edition). I probably read that thing thousands of times!

Well, we are looking for a new car. Well, not new - used...and nothing too expensive, and it has been a much more difficult process then I expected. DH and I both have different requirements as to what we do and don't want and it's proving to be difficult. That's where Miss Spider comes in...because I read that book so many times the words keep coming to mind as we go through this process...so I thought I'd share (this is all from memory so forgive me if I get a word wrong here or there :)

We need a car – just yours and mine.
It mustn’t screech or growl or whine.

Cha-hiss this speedster’s charged with steam.
Vroom slow down, I’m going to scream!

Squish Squash this snail car’s much to slick
Kerplosh, would froggy do the trick?

Ka-boing, a hop-rod fits the bill.
Sha-wosh, please land I’m feeling ill.

This matchbox dream has lots of zoom,
but look out for that tree…kabloom!

We’ll find a chuggy buggy yet,
putt putt this one will do I bet.

Beep beep, it’s ours and feels so right,
just humming softly in the night.

I keep saying over and over..."we need a car, just yours and mine, it mustn't screech or growl or whine"...DH tells me that he doesn't think Miss Spider is the best place to be researching cars however. If you have any better ideas let me know...ha ha ha.

(Oh, and for the record, I HATE car salesmen...and I'm not sexist, that includes car saleswomen as well.)

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T19:38:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthmother's Day...

2009-05-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

...to all my fellow birthmothers!

Grab some tissues, click on this link and watch the video...more importantly listen to the song!

10 Questions

2009-05-07T06:53:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article the other day on CNN and I really liked the idea so I’m posting the article here. It’s 10 questions you should ask your mom, and since Mother’s Day is coming up I’m planning on asking my mom to answer them just for fun (do you see that mom…be thinking of the answers) although I think I know the answers to at least some of them…I think you should ask your mom too. I’d love for you to come back and comment on your question and answer session. Were your mom’s answers different than you expected? Did any of her answers really surprise you? Do you know your mom better than you thought? Have fun getting to know your mom a little more and don’t forget to let her know how special she is this Sunday!

Ten questions to ask your mother now
By Judith Newman

(REAL SIMPLE) -- "Mom, I have to ask you something," my seven-year-old Henry begins. He stares at me with those solemn eyes and I steel myself.

Considering our unique family, it could be any number of things. Why do you and Dad live in separate places? (We are married but never could stand to live together.)

Why is Gus so different from other kids? (Henry's twin brother is mildly autistic.)

Why does Dad look tired all the time? (My husband was 68 when our sons were born... You do the math.)

I'm ready.

"Do you think spit cleans better than water?" he asks. "You always use it to clean my face."

You know, it isn't a bad question. And, in a way, every burst of curiosity gives me hope that my boys will continue to quiz me about ever more interesting and personal things. Because, as adults, so many of us don't ask enough about our mothers. (Maybe we're scared. More likely we just don't get around to it.)

Yet there's no better way to become closer to a person, even if you've known her all your life. So, after an utterly unscientific survey of friends and acquaintances, I've come up with 10 queries to get you started. Try them out this Mother's Day. You may even learn something about yourself.

1. What's the one thing you would have done differently as a mom? Recently I had this conversation with someone I had considered one of the best mothers I know -- the kind who never missed a kid's concert or a PTA conference. Her children are grown now, and they are neither independent nor particularly grateful.

"I should have let them fail," she told me. "When my daughter forgot to do her homework, I shouldn't have done it for her. When the other one got caught shoplifting, I should have let her spend a night in jail." For better or worse, your mother has probably given this subject a good deal of thought.

2. Why did you choose to be with my father? "Look at him!" my mother says adoringly. "He looks just like Jascha Heifetz!" He does, actually. But Heifetz, perhaps the world's greatest violinist, was one weird-looking dude. And my dad doesn't even play the violin. (Which is a bit like an accountant being the spitting image of Mick Jagger.)

So was there anything else? "Well, he liked smart women," says my mom, who was in medical school when they met in the 1950s. "So many men didn't back then." Not a bad reason to marry someone. I'm glad I asked.

3. In what ways do you think I'm like you? And not like you? Accuracy is not important here; you want to know her perceptions. Does she think you share her best qualities or her worst? (And do you agree?) Are your similarities and differences complementary -- they make the two of you click -- or are they the cause of all your conflicts?

4. Which one of us kids did you like the best? OK, chances are she'll dodge this question. But you'll probably force a compliment out of her -- "You were the one who set the table when you were three" -- and get a little insight into how she viewed each of you. And if she gives a straight answer? Well, you'll all have something new to fixate upon.

5. Is there anything you have always wanted to tell me but never have? The woman who suggested this question had learned late in life that the "aunt" who had lived with her parents while she was growing up was, in fact, her father's lover -- an arrangement that apparently suited all involved. Your mom's secrets might be a little less stunning. But hearing something she has been holding back may take your relationship into (good) uncharted territory.
6. Do you think it's easier or harder to be a mother now than when you were raising our family? We might agonize about working more hours outside the home and competing with our kids' cell phones for attention, but our mothers had other battles. "My mom thinks that if she had had a career, she would have been less frustrated and a better mother," reports one friend. The two of you needn't have a "Terms of Endearment moment over this one, but by understanding what she went through, you may appreciate your own situation more.

7. Is there anything you regret not having asked your parents? In my informal survey, the list went on and on, covering everything from "Did you ever think about leaving my dad for someone else?" and "Did you ever want to just throw in the towel?" to "What music do you want played at your funeral?" People regretted what they hadn't asked -- never what they had.

8. What's the best thing I can do for you right now? My mother is not subtle: "Call every day. If you don't, I think you're dead."

Other friends who had asked this question over the years were invariably surprised. One mom wanted her daughter to teach her to use a computer; another wanted her son, a plastic surgeon, to give her a face-lift. ("I had a moment where I didn't exactly love lifting my mother's skin off, but I thought I could do a better job than anyone else," he says.)

The mom of a young colleague wanted to meet her friends. "I'd always thought she wasn't interested in them," she says. "In fact, my mom was just shy."

9. Is there anything that you wish had been different between us -- or that you would still like to change? This inquiry prompted one mother to plan a trip with her 30-year-old daughter -- their first ever. She and her husband had always vacationed alone when their children were young, and she had felt bad about it for years. Whether you're 25 or 55, chances are there is some dynamic between you and your mother that could be better. Give her a chance to put it out there.

10. When did you realize you were no longer a child? I know what the answer will be for me, and I was startled to hear my mother give the same response: "I knew it when my own mother died," she told me. "That's the last time there would be anyone in the world who always put me before herself."

Summoned

2009-05-06T15:42:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to be summoned for jury duty this past Monday.

Some people might think I’m crazy, but I’ve always wanted to serve on a jury, but I have never been summoned before…well, I guess that isn’t quite true. I was summoned once while in college and I forgot to call in when I was supposed to…which if you know me it’s not like me to forget something like that…not to mention I’m pretty much a follow the letter of the law kind of girl so I was terrified I was going to be arrested or whatever happens to you when you don’t report for jury service. I called as soon as I remembered and the lady gave me a big long lecture about how I could be held in contempt of court and all types of fun things like that, but in the end told me it wouldn’t be a big deal…this one time.

So anyway, never having gone in for jury duty (nor ever having been tried for anything) I didn’t know what to expect. I’d never been through the Voir Dire process so it was all new to me. I have to say that I felt bad for the defendant who had to stand up in front of all 65 or so of us as potential jurors and have the crimes against him read, but that’s really beside the point. There were literally around 65 of us from which they would choose 13 or 14 jurors. They called up a group of 18 of us from randomly generated names (I was not in the initial group of 18) who were then instructed to sit in the jury box and handed a list of questions. A microphone was passed down the line as people rattled of the answers. The questions were:

• State your full name
• State your occupation and employer
• List everyone who lives at your residence who is over the age of 18 stating their full name and occupation.
• Do you have any children and if so how many and state their names and occupations if over the age of 18?
• Have you ever served on a jury before and if so was it a civil or criminal trial and without telling us the outcome, did the jury come up with a verdict?

After everyone in the jury box answered these questions then the attorneys were allowed to ask general questions to all of the jurors or to specific jurors if they had more questions. Then the attorneys in rotating order got to eliminate jurors one at a time, for no particular reason. The first round they eliminated probably 7 or 8 people and then those seats were filled with new potential jurors and the process started all over again with them. I actually found the whole thing quite interesting, probably because it wasn’t me that was about to be on trial. I get that they are doing this to try and come up with a jury that is most sympathetic to their respective sides cause, but I would really have liked to know what was going on in the attorneys heads as they were asking questions and sending people home at random. This whole process got me thinking. I was in the fourth group called up and once we had all gone through the spiel and answered any questions asked I was the first one to be eliminated from my group. It was the defense attorney that said “Your honor I would like to thank and excuse juror #2, Miss …” So obviously the defense didn’t think I would be sympathetic to his cause. But it got me thinking about the way we judge others and what type of a first impression I make that made him think that. I was not asked any specific questions by either of the attorneys. When stating my occupation and that I worked in the Development Office at the University the judged joked with me about being the ones that bring in all the money. Could my job have been the reason? I was the only one out of probably 70 people who was wearing a dress…did that have anything to do with it? Did the fact that I am white or seemingly educated (based on my job) make a difference to him? Was he afraid that I was racist or intolerant of those who are different than me (the defendant was Greek I believe, his last name was Krystos and he looked as though he could have been)? When talking to a co-worker she said that if that attorney had seen me either with my husband or my daughter the outcome might have been different and I might be serving on that jury right now. Maybe, maybe not...I'm sure that either way it doesn't really make much of a difference.

I get that when choosing a jury they definitely have to go off first impressions so I’m just curious as to what people’s first impressions are of me? For those of you who know me, what were your first impressions of me…try to be nice:)? What do you think people’s first impressions are of you? Just an interesting train of thought I think.

(Oh, and by the way, even though I’ve always wanted to serve on a jury, I am crazy busy at work so it’s really a good thing I didn’t get chosen.)

Mother's Day is coming up

2009-04-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

….it’s a day to (rightfully so) let our mother’s know what a wonderful influence they’ve been in our lives, it’s also a day that for the approximately 6 million birthmothers in the US alone, represents what might have been or what should have been or just reemphasizes a loss like no one who has not been through it can understand. It a day to remember just how “brushed aside” you really are.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughters and Mother’s Day has definitely gotten easier since Ari was born, but that loss that my heart has felt ever since the day I walked out of that hospital without my son will never fully go away. For eight years (well nine really since I was seven and a half months pregnant with my son when Mother’s Day came around that year and certainly no one was congratulating me or wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day that year, even though I had not even decided to place my son at that point) that day was a very painful reminder that I was not a mother, and in the years since Ari was born it’s still a reminder that my heart knows there is something missing that can never be replaced.

I read this poem on a fellow birthmother’s blog today and it fit so well that I thought I’d share:

Heart Of Mine

I listened to you, Heart of Mine

For nine months of the year

I called you Little Sweetheart

Darling, Dumpling, Angel Dear

I loved you more than life itself

I prayed for you each day

And when you came all pink and warm

I gave my heart away

I couldn't bear to lose you

But I couldn't keep you fed

I couldn't be the mom you'd need

So I picked one out instead

I trusted her to do for you

What I couldn't do alone

So I kissed your cheek and bid you well

And gave my heart a home

I know that someday you will see

The love that held me tight

To know you had all I could give

And know that I did right

And so I listen still, my heart

Not nine months but all year

And know you know I love you so

You're still my Angel Dear

The following article was emailed to me this morning which is what got me thinking about all of this in the first place. I didn’t even know until last year that there is a “Birthmother’s Day” the day before Mother’s Day, but to me it just feels a little wrong, just one more way to say that we aren’t really mother’s even though our hearts tell us we are. I hope that if you know anyone who is a birthmother, that you will recognize her this Mother’s Day, Birthmother’s Day if you’d like, but I’d suggest actually doing it on Mother’s Day to let her know that she’s not forgotten.

Mother's Day tinged with sadness for birthmoms

PSA - Cell Phone Tapping

2009-04-22T12:20:00.000-07:00

My mom sent me an email today with a link to a Youtube video about cell phone tapping. It's obviously illegal, but apparently very easy to do. I had no idea...everyone with a cell phone should watch this...it's scary!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCyKcoDaofg

(Embedding has been disabled so you'll have to click on the link)

Medication - Part 2

2009-04-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

I mentioned a while back that after much deliberation we were starting Ari on medication for ADHD, but I haven’t ever talked about how she’s doing or whether we feel it was the right decision.

Since before the medication I have had weekly contact through email with her teacher in order for us to be a unified front on encouraging Ari and helping her utilize her potential in school.

I’ve known almost from the beginning that the medication was helping, but I got this email from her teacher yesterday and thought I’d share.

Hello,

I am sorry I didn't respond sooner! I realized that I had not gotten back to you, and I definitely want you to know what a fabulous job Ari is doing!

She is so engaged and interested in history (the 6th graders were sharing their ancient China projects and she was so attentive with great questions). She is also confident and working well with me in math. She is so bright and it is so nice to see her using it! She still needs reminders to focus on what she needs to do when working in groups, but she is really managing that well. I am really enjoying her!

Thanks,
Carol

It’s so nice to know that you are making the right decisions as far as parenting is concerned, because let’s face it, half the time it really is a crap shoot and this is the confirmation that makes is all worth it. I’m really proud of Ari and her achievement in this area, the medication doesn’t fix everything, but it gives her that little extra push as far as focusing and attention are concerned during school hours. Anyway, I just had to brag on her for a minute…

What dreams are made of!

2009-04-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

I think you probably have to be living under a rock to not have either seen or heard about this woman but just in case I’m posting it here.

Susan Boyle appeared on “Britain’s Got Talent” recently and when she walked on the stage you could see the incredulity on the judges faces (one of whom is Simon Cowell, who also unless you’ve been living under a rock you know as the pretty nasty judge on American Idol) along with smirks and laughter from the audience, all seeming to be judging this woman by her age and appearance that she most certainly could not posses much talent at all. As I’ve said before it infuriates me that we as a society judge people based on their looks or what we perceive of that…which is what makes this even that much more poignant.

When she walked on stage and Simon asks her how old she is and she replies with 47 he actually rolls his eye and basically implies that if she actually had talent that she would have done something with it at this point in her life, and then she begins to sing. I actually got chills as I saw the look of doubt on the judges’ faces turn to disbelief to pure awe that this amazing voice belonged to this woman who didn’t look the part. I felt so much pride and joy for her as the audience who snickered as she stepped on stage rose to their feet to give her a standing ovation because she was actually that good!

And, could you have picked a more perfect song? Anyone who knows me knows that Les Mis is my favorite Broadway show (more recently followed closely by Wicked) and “I Dreamed a Dream” is one of my favorite songs… how amazing that the last words she sang were:

I had a dream my life would be

So different from this hell I'm living

So different now from what it seemed

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

She is not letting life kill her dreams and how truly beautiful that she was able to prove so many people wrong when they judged her on her appearance alone and she was able to show every single one of them wrong they really were just by doing what she knew inside she could do.

I hope that we all can be more like Susan Boyle and not let others disbelief keep us from doing what we know we can do. What an inspiration she is…she truly deserves all the praise she is getting.

There have been so many requests that embedding has been turned off on this video, but click on this link and it will take you to the YouTube page and you can view it there!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

I literally get chills every time I watch her…truly remarkable!

I did it!

2009-04-02T07:23:00.000-07:00

I made it to my 21 days…and considering that I had to get up at 4:30 the past two mornings in order to work it in makes it that much more fulfilling :)

This morning was my 21st day in a row to get up and exercise, which may not seem like a big deal, but it’s been a while since I exercised that many days in a row before :(

Now my only fear is that since I’ve made it to my goal I’ll let myself slack off every once in a while…so, if any of you want to hold my feet to the fire that would be great…if you want reciprocal encouragement I’d love that too…we could always do the Facebook thing like my friend Sam and I!

Daily Candy --- April Fool's Day?

2009-04-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

I get these emails daily from Daily Candy…they have a National edition and then one for a variety of large urban areas, like San Francisco. These emails are supposed to keep you informed of all the up and coming trends in food, fashion, things to do, etc. I get the San Francisco edition because I live fairly close and it’s just kind of fun to see the new things that are going on.

Well, today I opened my Daily Candy email and was a little surprised at what it said was the newest, latest and greatest for the iPhone…please be aware that this might be considered TV MA rated so don’t read any farther if you get easily offended:

April 1, 2009

I’ll Have What She’s Having

Jimmyjane’s miVibe Application for iPhone

For you, being technologically sophisticated means knowing how to double-click your mouse. (Sadly, not every user has magic fingers.)

Upgrade your hardware (and lend yourself a hand) with miVibe.

Jimmyjane — the self-pleasure masters known for premium gadgets — just launched its first iPhone application. Download the tickle-your-fancy program and your cellie becomes an instant vibrator (gasp!) with adjustable settings.

You’ll never have to fake it again: With three speeds (soft and subtle, gradual buildup, and fast and furious) and ten preset modes, the nifty (and naughty) app will give your lover a run for his money.

And leave it to the kings of kink to design a 24-karat gold phone sleeve that’s ribbed for extra oomph.

Now you’ve got the Midas touch.

Available online at jimmyjane.com.

Who would want to do that with their PHONE? This has to be an April Fool’s Day joke…right?

Edited: as the anonymous commenter pointed out this is definitely an April Fool’s Day joke…just click on the link…I just wasn’t clinking on any of it from work! :)

Lenses

2009-03-31T17:36:00.000-07:00

Although I think my lenses would be something a little darker, more ominous, maybe a deep purple :)…I am somewhat of a pessimist afterall!

I believe it is literally impossible to understand someone else unless you have walked in their shoes. I have said this before, maybe on my other blog, but I I think each and every one of us sees the world differently, no matter how much we might try and see things from another’s point of view. The events that have shaped my life have given me certain lenses with which I view the world and as much as I try, and hope I can sympathize with others, I cannot disconnect from that which makes me, me.

I think about race relations occasionally because as I’ve mentioned before we have a few different races in my household. Ironically however, I don’t really notice there being any difference between us unless someone else points it out. Anyhow, I was reading this article on CNN.com today and wanted to share. In reference to the article, I cannot, no matter how hard I try, understand what it means to be Black in America, but at the same time someone Black cannot know what it is like to be me. I think it is a starter for a great discussion on what it really means to be in someone else’s shoes, no matter what the topic: race, religion, being a birth parent or being infertile…you name it. We all have our own very unique colored lenses through which we view the world and if we could just try and understand that about others a little more often wouldn’t that make all the difference? :)

21 Days

2009-03-25T17:13:00.000-07:00

They say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit…who “they” are I’m not quite sure, but “they” certainly do say a lot…but I digress...

So, I’ve wanted and I’ve had good intentions to establish a plan to get in better shape and be healthier, and, well it’s like with most things in my life that if it doesn’t fit conveniently into my schedule it quite often doesn’t get done. Oh I’ll get up and exercise for a few days and then something happens to derail me and it takes me a week or so to get back into it again. So, in my effort to get in better shape I’ve decided to take "them" up on the notion that doing something for 21 days in a row will make it a habit.

Today was day 12 on my way to 21 days. Now, this may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but in order to reach said goal of exercising daily I have to get up between 5-5:30, yep, that’s in the morning, to fit it into my day. Even though I consider myself a morning person, when the alarm goes off at 5:00 beckoning me to the treadmill or weights…whichever day it might be…I usually lay there for a while wondering if I really need to do this every day…missing just one morning for extra sleep wouldn’t hurt, right? Well, that’s what has gotten me in the habit of not exercising regularly, so up and at ‘em.

Thirteen days ago my friend Sam and I were commiserating via facebook (she’s in Idaho and I’m in California) that we wanted to get in shape but lacked the motivation, when we decided to be each other’s motivation. We check in with each other every day and it’s worked wonders for me. I don’t want to be the one to say, "no I didn’t do it to today because (enter whatever excuse one might use here." I figure if I put this out there on my blog then it might make me even more accountable and therefore will give me more motivation to get up on those mornings when my warm covers are begging me to stay.

Wish me luck…

Do you see that it says finish line way off in the distance? There really is no finish line, but it's a little daunting if I think of it as a forever thing, so I'll be working toward that finish line that I should never reach :)

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T15:18:00.000-07:00

If you were reading last year you might remember that we started a tradition of Corned Beef and Cabbage a few years back for St. Patrick’s Day.

Well it’s simmering away in the slow cooker as I type this (thank you DH) smelling absolutely delicious. And to be sure we get our quotient of green food for the day we are topping it off with a pistachio layered dessert… luckily we’re having the missionaries over to share in the partaking of all that food!

Have a great St. Patrick’s Day and enjoy your festivities…whatever they may be.

Cosmic Irony

2009-03-17T09:20:00.000-07:00

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction – Newton’s Third Law

I took AP Physics in high school, but to be painfully honest that’s been a few more years ago than I’d like to admit so there isn’t a whole lot I remember. Due to cosmic irony however Newton’s Third Law is one principle that I can’t seem to forget. It seems as though whenever something happens in my life there always has to be something equal and opposite that happens in return. Of course the irony part of all of this is that it seems to happen when things start to go well and then some cosmic force decides that my life just can’t be that easy or go that well and some unforeseen event seems to occur wherewith that equal and opposite force brings me right back to where I started from.

Is this just me? Does anyone else ever feel like this or is the Universe just plotting against me?

(This is where I found my image...I think I needed that!)

There's no place like home

2009-03-11T15:21:00.001-07:00

I’m channeling my inner Dorothy today…

I have had these shoes for a couple of months now but I didn’t have anything to wear them with so I haven’t worn them…this is nothing new for me. I love shoes and I have been known to buy a pair of shoes and then come up with an outfit to go with them.

This time I didn’t actually get an outfit to go with them, I decided I would just find some red jewelry and wear them with one of my many black/black and white outfits (black is my favorite color). Well, I couldn’t find anything I liked so I went to the local bead store, found some matching beads and I’m wearing them all today…

Everytime I catch a glimpse of them I start thinking "…follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road"

What Are You?

2009-03-02T16:52:00.000-08:00

Back in December I attended a one day conference for work in Santa Clara. I had never been to Santa Clara before and didn’t realize it was a private Jesuit University or that the Santa Clara mission is actually located right in the heart of the campus. On our lunch break we had time to do some exploring so a co-worker and I went to find the mission and look around. Santa Clara is a small mission but it was absolutely beautiful.

After looking around the mission we still had some time before the conference was to start so we decided to peruse the campus museum across the street. We stumbled across an exhibit that fascinated me so much that I almost didn’t make it back to the afternoon session of the conference. The exhibit was entitled “What are you?”

I think part of the reason I was so drawn to this exhibit was how stark and bare it was. The room was filled with a single row of framed pictures, mug shots was more like it. The photos were just headshots, the subjects having no makeup, no done up hair, and bare shoulders. It was them, raw, exposed for the world to see, but the real exposure was what appeared below each photograph. They were all matted with a simple white frame and below their picture was their self-identified identity written in their own hand. I think this is the main reason why I liked this exhibit so much. Some of them were long beautiful essays, others were just a line or two, but it was what each individual wanted the world to know how they perceived themselves. It is called the Hapa Project, and it is technically targeted towards people of mixed race that included Asian or Pacific Islander, but I feel that the concept can be applied to each and every one of us.

I feel that we live in a society that puts so much of an emphasis not on who we are and what we accomplish but as what color of skin we have or what nationality we are perceived to be. I think it’s wonderful to be proud of who you are and the ancestry that you’ve come from. However, all too often people categorize others to try and wrap up who they are, sometimes for better or worse (when used to discriminate someone based on their looks), into a nice neat little package.

In today’s society you can’t get away from this boxed up identification either. On virtually any paperwork you fill out you have to identify yourself from a series of checkboxes as one thing or another. Quite honestly I never put much thought into filling out that paperwork until my oldest daughter was born. I am, for all intents and purposes, White/Caucasian/Anglo Saxon (whatever term you care to use). Although that’s not entirely true it’s what I and everyone around me had always perceived me as. Therefore checking off the Caucasian checkbox was a no brainer. When Ari was born it made me mad that in order to fill out any of that paperwork she would have to deny a part of her, and the part of her that she was most likely going to deny would be my side. The traits, genes and personality factors that I gave her would most likely go unnoticed in those little checkboxes because visually the other side of her is more dominant. Ari is half Black and half White, like our newly elected President, and just like President Obama, the world perceives her as Black. President Obama has a White mother just like Ari, and although everyone knows that, he is still the America’s first “Black” President. Even though I think it’s great that we have broken that white/male stereotype for our President but it saddens me that we feel we have to quantify it in that way.

As for Ari, she self identifies as being African American. From what I can tell this is what her classmates see her as so it’s how she sees herself. I have used the term Black in referring to her biological father because that is what he preferred to be called. He stated that he didn’t personally come from Africa and neither did any of his ancestors that he personally knew so he felt he was an American who happened to be Black. So, that is how I approached it with Ari. But, at school they are very PC and use the term African American so that is how she now refers to herself. I don’t care if that’s what she chooses to be called as long as it’s what she wants and not that nice and neat little checkbox that society has put her in. When kids at school see us together they invariable ask who I am, because in their minds we don’t look alike and I couldn’t possibly be her mother. When she replies that I am in fact her mom she consistently gets asked if she was adopted. She has told me this bothers her. She knows that there is nothing wrong with being adopted, we’ve had discussions about it, but her reply is always “I know, but I’m not adopted so it bothers me." I actually asked Ari after I started writing this how she would describe herself so I could her her perception. She didn't really have an answer for that so I said:

"What do you say when someone asks, what are you?"

She relied that no one ever asked her that.

I finally said, "well what would you say"

"I'd tell them my Mom is White and my Dad is Black."

"So, what does that make you?"

long silent pause

"I guess I don't know what that makes me."

pause

"I don't know why, but I guess I've just always considered myself Black."

"Do you think it's because that's the way other people see you?"

"No, because nobody has ever said anything about it really, it's just the way I see myself."

So, that is Ari in her own words!

As far as DH is concerned I can’t even begin to write his “What are you?” statement. First and foremost the whole point of the “What are you?” project is to be able to express what you feel you are, and I’m not him. What I do know is that he is constantly being mistaken for being Mexican or Hispanic, which would be great, except he isn’t. About six weeks ago we had a couple kids (a brother and sister) from church come over for dinner. The girl had recently been to India on a humanitarian project but before she went DH talked to her about the country (he has been there) and wrote her a whole letter on what to expect from the culture and other things. Well she was yet again going out of country (Uganda) and so DH invited her and her brother over so he could tell her about this country (he’s been there too) but then found out she changed her trip to Guatemala because she was concerned about the unrest in Uganda. DH has also been to South America and in the course of talking about the culture she asked him point blank “So what are you? Are you Mexican?” It was a completely harmless question and she didn’t mean anything by it, but it is a constant thing in our society the even if we aren’t so bold as she was and ask, we still wonder.

As I said I can’t answer this question for him because I’m not him, but his mother was Filipina and his father is White, with some Native American mixed in I believe. I know that DH checks the Asian checkbox because I'm guessing that is the closest match with what he feels he is. That girl kept staring at Devyn in complete shock saying “I can’t believe she’s a quarter Filipino.” I would have to agree with her, Devyn will invariable be mistaken for being just White, but it was rather funny.

Now on to me…as I said I am pretty much White, I have blond hair (well it used to be blond, now it's getting kind of dark), hazel eyes and pale skin, so you wouldn’t suspect that I have any Native American blood flowing through my veins, but I do. I have ancestors that come from Wells and Germany and England. That is the ancestry that I grew up knowing about. My grandmother on my father’s side was very into genealogy and I’ve been told she has one of my lines traced back to Adam...pretty impressive I’d have to say. But, my father was adopted by this Aunt and Uncle and although they forever became Mom and Dad to him, it doesn’t change the fact that he has this other ancestry out there. It is a somewhat long and personal story, but he was told that his biological father was thought to have had some Native American blood in him. A few, probably 6 or 7, years ago my Dad was talking to one of his biological sisters (he considers her his cousin) and she mentioned she had a family history that included some of his biological father’s ancestry and proceeded to tell him the story that either this man’s mother or grandmother was full-blooded Native American, either Shoshone or Bannock (my Dad doesn’t remember which). She was a baby survivor of a massacre and was found by members of a wagon train, strapped to a cradle board that was propped up against a tree. When I worked at the American West Heritage Center I knew quite a few members of the Northwest Band of the Shoshone and heard their side of the Bear River Massacre . I have to wonder if that isn’t my history as well. This baby was taken on to the Salt Lake Valley and was adopted and raised by some settlers there. At that point she was effectively cut off from her culture and history which is where it stayed for generations. If the story is true then that would either make me an eighth or a sixteenth Native American. The story fascinates me and I have tried to learn more, at the time I emailed the relative who initially told my Dad this story, but she wouldn’t give me any information because she wanted to see my Dad and said he could have it when he came to the upcoming family reunion. He didn’t go to that family reunion and we have never gotten any of that history. For all intents and purposes I consider myself White, but that doesn't mean that I don't accept and cherish this other side of me as well.

How about you? Do you know your ancestry? Have you ever thought about it, or are you more like I was and never really think about those checkboxes?

So, "What Are You"?...please share, either in the comments or on your own blog, but let me know so I can check it out.

Warning...tons of pictures of my baby!

2009-02-12T12:40:00.000-08:00

We are slacker parents…

We have been meaning to get Devyn’s picture taken for her birthday, well, since her birthday back in November. We finally went this past Saturday.

I take her picture all the time, but I’m no photographer so we have to have studio pictures taken every once in a while. I would love to get pictures taken by this lady…I think her pictures are so stunning and real, but alas I don’t have the $1300 (starting figure that doesn’t include the pictures) for her to come and photograph my family so we just do the JCPenny thing.

The last time we got her picture taken was when she was 9 months old and she cried every time the lady pulled the camera out. I think we got two pictures from that session, and she was about to cry or crying in both of them. That was a while back so we hoped this time would be better…we were wrong. She obviously doesn’t like strangers pointing cameras at her. I think a career as a celebrity with paparazzi following her around might be out of the question…which is quite fine by me.

We ordered a bunch of prints (we will be sending copies to family, so if you're family don't worry we'll get those in the mail when we pick them up), but also opted to pay the $4.99 to have them emailed to us. I got that email today!

DH and I talk all the time about whether we think our girls are so adorable because we are their parents or because they really are cute? I think it’s that they really are adorable, and if you don’t agree that’s fine but don’t share your opinion with me because I might not like you as much after that. : )

She was so upset about being there that we kept having to give her anything we could think of to keep her even remotely happy, including Ari's notebook and pencil, and her book "The Twits" by Roald Dahl. I'm not thrilled that "The Twits" is in the picture, but her face is too cute to not have gotten copies...notice there is not one picture of her smiling...maybe next time, but I'm not holding my breath.

By the way (family) just in case you're thinking of trying to copy these pictures the following disclaimer came with the email: Professional portraits are copyright protected. Images on SmilesByWire are low resolution; intended for electronic viewing and sharing only. You may reorder our professional high quality prints by selecting "Order Portraits."

Pay it Forward!

2009-02-11T12:24:00.000-08:00

My friend Cheryl is playing this game.

This is how it works. The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a handmade gift from me during this year—when and what will be a surprise. But --there’s a small catch. You need to post this on your blog (yes, that means you will also be giving away 3 handmade gifts. Like me!) and then come back and leave a comment telling me you’re in.

I think it's fun to get things from friends, especially homemade, random, for no good reason things, so I decided to play along.

Remember, only the first 3 comments receive the gift. Don't worry about not knowing what you're going to make, I certainly don't yet, but I'll try and make it good. So, if you want something that I've made with my two little hands then join in the fun!

Medication - Day 1

2009-02-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

As a parent you have to weigh the pros and cons of everything and then determine what is best for your child armed with whatever information you can gather.

Ari has always been fidgety and talkative and struggled with paying attention in class. We’ve been discussing it with her teachers since she was in 1st grade.

Mrs. Shoemaker, her first grade teacher was great and eased our fears letting us know that yes Ari was an active kid, but nothing too out of the ordinary for a 6 year old. She had twin daughters, one of whom was medicated for ADHD so she understood our concerns and said that we should just keep doing what we were doing and pay attention, that her daughter was able to manage her ADHD until she hit puberty and then her symptoms got so bad that they decided to try medication and it made a world of difference. During her second grade year we moved to California which was bound to stir things up for her so I think we (her teachers, DH and I) just assumed that she was making the best of a new situation, so when Ari got up in class to walk over and discuss a project with a student on the other side of the room in the middle of the teacher talking, we just chalked it up to being in a new environment.

Third grade was nasty. She was always getting in trouble and on more than one occasion when I went to her classroom Ari’s desk would be singled out, situated right next to her teacher’s desk. During 3rd grade Ari told me that she didn’t want to go to school anymore. Of course I used my mommy skills of reverse psychology on her telling her that if she didn’t go to school she wouldn’t be able to be a veterinarian, her lifelong dream. Being a Vet is something she has wanted to do ever since I can remember so I thought this would be the encouragement she needed, but she just told me that she didn’t care anymore and she’s work at McDonald’s the rest of her life if she had to, but that she never wanted to go back to school. I think a lot of things were at play this year. First and foremost, her teacher that year was not the right teacher for her! I had heard parents rave about this teacher so I thought it was all Ari’s doing, but I finally realized that no matter what Ari did (including things that I was aware of at home) her teacher had already decided she was the troubled kid and wouldn’t give her a break. Unfortunately I didn’t recognize this until two thirds of the way through the school year and she didn’t want to switch classes at that point. The second reason was girl drama…since when did girls start having friend drama in the 3rd grade. The girls in her class were petty like Junior High School girls were petty when I was young. Whatever happened to kids just being kids? We got a lot of the friend issues worked out and her year ended up much better than it started out, but by that point and time we had started a conversation with Ari’s doctor about an ADHD diagnosis.

Fourth grade was much better. We discussed our concerns before school even started with Mr. Felton because we were afraid of what might be in her school file because of her previous teacher. He was great to work with us and we made sure to communicate with him often. It was at the beginning of 4th grade that both her 3rd and 4th grade teachers filled out questionnaires along with DH and I for Ari’s doctor to determine a diagnosis. Mr. Felton wasn’t really seeing the issues she had had the year before, but because of our concerns and her 3rd grade teachers questionnaire, her doctor said that she technically did fit into the ADHD category, but that the symptoms didn’t seem too severe. She gave us the option of medication, which we declined because we wanted to be able to try and help her work through it without medication if at all possible. With the help of Mr. Felton she had a pretty good 4th grade year. He told us she was easily an A or at the very least B student, but she struggled getting those grades because of her focus issues. She did well though and ended the year pretty well. I guess I just figured 3rd grade was so bad because of the personality conflict between Ari and her 3rd grade teacher.
Enter 5th grade. Ari cannot stay on task to save her life. I have to admit that I’m not overly organized so I’m not the best role model for her to emulate, but she is getting bad. We have had communication with the teacher, but not on a regular basis. Unfortunately it got to the point that her teacher called me at work a few weeks ago because Ari’s lack of focus on her studies and her inability to not speak out of turn or get up and socialize at inappropriate times was getting intolerable. I have to admit this is a little hard for me to deal with, because I was never that kid. I was quiet and unassuming and getting in trouble from the teacher would have been the end of the world to me, so as a parent this is something I’ve never dealt with before.

After these new concerns, we went and talked with Ari’s doctor again last Friday and decided to give medication a try. I have heard the horror stories about your kids being walking zombies on ADHD medication, but I’ve read that that should not be the case and if it is you need to either lower the dose or switch to a different type. I’m so concerned that it school keeps being a place where she can’t “do anything right” that she will get to the point that she hates school and either not do well or drop out eventually. I’m willing to try this medication to help her to the best she can. Yet again, her teacher this year says that Ari is one of her brightest students, but getting her to focus and pay attention is next to impossible. We get that, we have the same issues at home with homework or cleaning her room, or pretty much accomplishing any task takes her three to four times as long as it should.

So here’s to day 1 on medication. Wish us luck that this will be just the boost that Ari needs. I think it will also her self-confidence if she realizes that she doesn’t have to struggle so hard to do what everyone else expects her to be able to do.

Plus, she's not in too bad of company, what with Michael Phelps being diagnosed with ADHD and all, just hopefully without the pot smoking!

Spirit Week

2009-02-02T21:54:00.000-08:00

Every year Ari's school has a spirit week where each day has a different theme. They include:

Monday
Crazy Socks Day
(Ari made her own using markers because she wanted them to be unique)
I didn't get a picture : (

Tuesday
Dress Up as your favorite movie character
(Unfortunately Ari stayed home sick this day)

Wednesday
Twins Day
(Ari and her friend Mari got matching shirts and then they both wore grey jeans and black boots)
I didn't get a picture : (

Thursday
Crazy Hair Day
(By far the best day for the kids. Ari was literally stopping traffic with hers!)

Friday

School Spirit Day

(She wore a school sweatshirt and DH drew the school dolphin on her check...pretty good job huh?)

Incoherent thoughts

2009-01-23T12:22:00.000-08:00

Words can’t even begin to express my thoughts and feelings at the moment. Through a lot of effort and turmoil I finally know my son is alive. I’ve found him. At least I'm 99.9% sure it's him. I know his name and I’ve seen pictures, I have sat and stared at those pictures with a mixture of so much relief and yet pangs of agony. For so many years even the knowledge that he was alive and well was asking too much. Relief because he appears healthy and happy and over the period of a few minutes I was able to find out more about him than I’ve known for over 18 years. From what little I can garner about his life he appears to have a good one. He seems healthy and well-adjusted, and although that makes me so amazingly happy, it’s also a bitter pill to swallow. Does that mean that he was better off without me? I’d like to think not, that he has had a good life so far and was raised by wonderful parents, but that it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have been a good mother to him all the same.

I haven’t contacted him, and probably won’t, at least not for a long while. He’s only 18 years old and I haven’t a clue what is going on in his life. After 18 and a half years of not even knowing if he was dead or alive I’m not willing to jeopardize a relationship with him by imposing in his life at a time when I’m unwelcome or unwanted. It’s heartbreaking that as the person who brought him into this world, having done what I believed/was told was best for him, and having loved him every day since that I have to worry about that, but I do. However, I know his name, I know where he grew up, and I can look at his face and wonder if he resembles me, things I didn’t know and wasn’t able to do until last week, but most importantly, I know that he’s alive! What sweet relief!

Devyn Malaya

2008-12-23T17:11:00.000-08:00

I feel like such a neglectful mother since I haven’t posted anything about Devyn’s 1st birthday and that was over a month and a half ago now. So, to make up for it I’m going to give you a little glimpse of her.

Devyn is extremely obstinate. When told “no” she will look at you, wrinkle her brow and then go right back to what she was doing in the first place. Sometimes she will ball up her fists and let out a very unapproving shriek before going back to whatever she wasn’t supposed to be doing in the first place. She never takes no for an answer. You always have to physically remove her from the situation. Sometimes when she gets really upset she does what DH refers to as the “angry penguin.” She stomp/waddles away while wailing to show her utter disgust. She will also do this while giggling with delight when she is really happy, so I guess it could also be called the happy pengiun too.
Going right along with her obstinance is her determination. She doesn’t let anything deter her when she has her mind set on something. This has the potential to be an amazing gift throughout her life if it doesn’t drive us crazy first!
When caught getting into something she knows she shouldn’t she immediately offers whatever it is to you seeming to say “here, I was only getting it for you.”
She is our dancing queen! (So of course I have to sing the ABBA song to her often:) Anytime any music comes on, and it can be for literally 5 seconds on a commercial or something, she will start to shimmy her shoulders. She has been doing this for months now and it would be hilarious because you could be flipping through channels on TV and if there was music in that two seconds before the channel changed again she would start to shimmy and then look around for the source of her entertainment. She also loves to sing. She usually only sings to ballads however, fast songs are for dancing and slow songs are for singing. She has been loving all of the recent Christmas music. She will just croon way in the back seat of the car, but usually stops if you look at her, it’s adorable.

She lights up whenever Ari enters the room. An enormous grin will spread across her face and she’ll look at me like “is it really her mom?” She loves her big sister and definitely lets it show.

She loves Dante, loves to terrorize him, but is also just a tiny bit afraid of him when he’s walking toward her. Like she does with Ari, only not quite so much, she smiles whenever he enters a room. She loves to pet him, although usually it’s more like pounding on him. He always just looks away seeming to say “if I don’t look at her maybe she will go away.” But, when faced with an oncoming Dante in the narrow hallway she sometimes gets a look of “what do I do now” on her face and tries to head in any other direction so as not to get knocked down, which she often is by him.

All things worth eating must stick to her finger! Every time we put some type of new food on her high chair tray she must try poking it with her finger to see if it will stick. She will usually try with one type of food a few different times before she gives up and just continues to eat picking it up. She will again try again the next time she has said food, just in case it’s sticking properties have changed in the last week or two. This all started when we had some gnocchi. When going to pick up a piece it ended up sticking to her finger and from then on she was hooked. She finished the evening eating only what would stick to her finger and has continued this tradition of trying ever since.

She loves to share! She will even share her bottle or food from her mouth, which is saying something since she is a very food driven child.

Here are a few of her more recent accomplishments (the videos are really dark, but you get the picture):

folding her arms...

and blowing kisses.

And of course the obligatory pictures :) I made this cake to match the caterpillar she got (see in the above picture). We call this the "snow bunny" outfit.

Listening Preferences

2008-12-16T00:18:00.000-08:00

My first real job upon graduating from college was as a marketing coordinator for a small non-profit. One of my responsibilities was to purchase all the advertising for our events.

One day I was at one of the local radio station offices talking to the sales rep about the target markets of the three different stations run out of this office. We were discussing the demographic of who was listening so I could decide how much and where to advertise. Many of our events were targeted to young families, so obviously I wanted to concentrate my small advertising budget on the stations they most listened to. During the course of this conversation he mentioned the station that was my station of choice in the area and said that their demographic was too young for what I was looking for. He said almost like clockwork people changed their listening preferences starting at about 27 years old and no longer listened to this station. He and I had worked together on a number of projects so I felt comfortable in retorting that I was 28, a parent and I still listened to this station. He laughed and said, “That will change, mark my words. You will change the type of music you listen to within the next few years.”

I contemplated this conversation wondering if he was right and if I would soon move on to a station with a much more mature listening audience. Eight years later I can now say that he was only partially correct. For better or for worse the stations I listen to depend upon who is around when I’m in the car. I don’t listen to the actual lyrics most of the time. It could be one of my most favorite songs and I couldn’t tell you half of what it was actually saying. I don’t know why I’m like this, but I am. Even if I know the general message of the song I tend to overlook inappropriate lyrics and such. Back when I was 27 and had a very young daughter I didn’t think too much about what I was listening too. I think it was when she was 4 or 5 and she knew all the words to a Nelly song by heart that I determined it was time to monitor what was entering her little brain. Now that she is 10 years old and she very definitely listens to the lyrics I tend to be a lot more careful of what is playing on the radio. I still listen to those stations that the sales rep said I wouldn’t listen to anymore; I just do it when I’m by myself in the car. Country is one of my stations of choice when the kids are with me because the lyrics don’t tend to be as bad.

So What - Pink
I was listening to and thoroughly enjoying this Pink song the other day and wondering if I was too old to be listening to that type of music anymore, which reminded me of this conversation. So, how about you? Did you like clockwork migrate to a more mature station at 27 years old? Have you changed your listening preferences over the years and if so how come?

when you care enough to hit send

2008-12-11T06:38:00.000-08:00

someecards.com

Totally inappropriate and not very politically correct cards, but some of them are hilarious. Enter the site at your own risk however; some of them are pretty crass.

Way more than you ever wanted to know about me!

2008-12-09T11:04:00.000-08:00

Ok, it's been forever since I posted anything and since National Adoption month is long over I'm going to finally do the tags that people tagged me for months ago. Oops!

Nicole tagged me with the following list:

I am: A wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter
I think: I’m a good person at heart
Everything in life: Happens for a Reason
I want: To make a difference in someone’s life
I have: More than probably 90% of the world, but why does it seem like I never have enough.
I dislike: When people judge others without having walked in their shoes
I miss: My best friend Nicole, who lives too far away, and getting to go home for Christmas
I fear: For the future and of what the world will become for my children.
I feel: Worn down from life right now.
I hear: The hum of my space heater keeping my toes warm. Maybe I should stop wearing sandals until Spring.
I smell: My Gardenia hand lotion that I just put on.
I crave: Good friendship because I don’t have any really good friends here.
I cry: a lot more since becoming a parent
I search: For my sense of self
I wonder: If my son will ever want to meet me.
I regret: Trying to be who others want me to be.
I wish: I could see what God sees in me
I love: My Family
I care: Too much for my own good sometimes.
I always: Try to be caring and understanding
I am not: An organized person, although I wish I were.
I remember: How easy and carefree it was to be a child and I wish it could be like that now.
I believe: My husband loves me
I sing: Only when I know no one can hear me.
I don't always: Make the best use of my time
I argue: Rarely, I don’t like contention.
I write: To work things out in my head
I win: Never…if I didn’t have bad luck I’d have no luck at all
I lose: My temper too easily.
I listen: To literally almost any kind of music. R&B, check. Country, check. Showtunes, check. Hip Hop, check. 80s, check. 90s, check. Top 40, check. Classical, check…and on and on it goes.
I don't understand: Why everyone can’t just get along.
I can usually be found: At work or at home.
I need to: Learn to like myself.
I forget: To enjoy the little things in life because I’m so worried about the squeaky wheels (like bills to pay)
I am happy: When either one of my girls’ gives me a great big hug.

Heather tagged me with the 8 things tag and Tina tagged me with the 6 things tag so I combined the two and if I could think of 8 I put 8 , if I could only think of 6 then I put 6. You get the picture.

6 TV shows I watch
My Name is Earl (one of the best shows ever although probably a little crude for a lot of people)
Desperate Housewives
The Biggest Loser
All of the CSIs (but only when I happen to catch them on)
Lost
So You Think You Can Dance

8 Favorite Restaurants
Cheesecake Factory
Red Robin
Costa Vida (unfortunately we don’t have one here)
Panera
On The Border
Thai Nakorn
California Pizza Kitchen
Texas Roadhouse

6 things that happened yesterday
I actually made it to work on time which is a feat in and of itself for me
I talked to Nicole on the phone which I haven’t done in a long time
I made grilled chicken salads for dinner and Devyn loved the veggies in the salad more than the chicken :)
Devyn walked around terrorizing the house and Dante (but that’s nothing new)
Ari and I watched the end of some Christmas show on TV
I stayed up too late and now I’m tired today

8 things I look forward to
Christmas
Having the extra time at home with my husband and my girls for the Holidays
Going on dates with my husband
Payday
Moving back closer to family and friends (although maybe this should be on my wish list)
All the great movies that come out around Christmas

6 things on my wish list
Meeting my son
Being a stay-at-home mom
Quitting my job (although it's a really good one so I can't complain)
DH getting into (and then finishing) PA school
Buying a house
Becoming independently wealthy so we could travel the world doing humanitarian projects

Then Heather also tagged me with 6 Quirky Facts about me and Sue tagged me with 7 Random facts about me so I have combined them because they are kind of the same.

Quirky Tag Rules:
1. List person (s) who tagged you
2. Mention rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular Quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers

1. Heather, I couldn’t disagree with you more…the toilet paper has to be coming from on top of the roll, not under. You have it all wrong!

2. This one Heather got right…I do not like leftovers, with very few exceptions. Although my husband has gotten me out of this one a little bit because he made me feel guilty for wasting food. That’s what happens when you marry someone who has lived in third world countries.

3. I will not touch a public bathroom door handle. I will open the door with a paper towel and then hold it open with my foot and use my insanely good basketball skills (ha ha ha) to lob it into the garbage can, wherever that might be.

4. I’m an insanely picky eater. I could probably share dozens of examples, but these are just a couple of examples. I will not eat any pressed meat…no chicken nuggets, no hot dogs, no sausages…none of it! I also pick the little white things out of the eggs before I cook them and won’t eat eggs that others have made because I'm sure they haven't done this because they aren't as anal as me.

5. One of my life goals is to climb the Tetons and ever since I mentioned that to my professional mountain guiding husband it has now become one of his goals for me as well :)

6. My dream when I was younger was to become a fighter pilot for the Navy and fly this little beauty. I even started college as an engineering major, but that only lasted for about a year and a half before I changed my major. I'm glad now though, who would want to spend all that time away from their family. I would still love to get my pilots license though.

7. I love shoes! Heels are my favorite, the taller the better since I like to pretend I'm not short. Although at 5'4" DH likes to remind me that I'm not short but average to which my reply is why settle for average?

Wow, I almost hate to post this one because those first few makes me sound a little crazy!

I tag everyone who reads my blog so I know I’m not the only crazy person out there. If you don’t have a blog of your own, feel free to just post your answers in the comments :)

National Adoption Month

2008-11-20T10:05:00.000-08:00

You may or may not know that November is National Adoption Month. What I find a little interesting is the way I’ve seen it being promoted. I read a lot of blogs that have to do with adoption, some from all sides of the triad, because so much of who I have become has been shaped by being a first mom. Most of what I have read concerning National Adoption Month has been from adoptive families who are promoting adoption, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but in a way that I don’t either see as 100% ethical or what the month was intended for.

National Adoption month was created in 1976 in Massachusetts as an Adoption Week because there were so many children in foster care that needed permanent loving homes that they wanted to highlight the situation. That same year President Gerald Ford decided to make a National Adoption Week to highlight the same problem nationwide, which then turned into National Adoption Month in 1990.

Let’s face it, you don’t need to encourage adoptive families to adopt healthy infants in this country…there’s a line out the door and down the street of willing families ready and able to adopt and love any healthy infant placed for adoption in this country. I think it’s a shame that the true intent of this month is being overshadowed because there are hundreds of thousands of children right now as I type that don’t have a place to call home. They don’t have a family that they can turn to and know that they have someone to be there for them when the chips are down and that’s what this month is all about.

On the government child welfare website it states:

November is National Adoption Month, a month set aside to raise awareness about the adoption of children and youth from foster care. This year's theme of adopting teens from foster care builds on the Ad Council's new public service announcement (PSA) campaign of the Children's Bureau, the Adoption Exchange Association, and The Collaboration to AdoptUsKids.

Go here to find out more about it.

Just an FYI: If we had a big house and I could convince my husband I would definitely be adopting older children from foster care. I believe every child deserves to have a family that loves them unconditionally. I'd also like to adopt from Haiti for the same reason and to get children out of the Hell that they live there, but DH has been to Haiti and said that if it means he has to ever go back that won't be happening!(I’ll continue to work on my husband *wink, wink* so one day if we get a big enough house we’ll fill it with kids too :)

Don't you wish you worked with me?

2008-11-19T14:36:00.000-08:00

My birthday is next week. When I arrived at work on Monday morning this email was in my inbox (in a beautifully scripted text that I can't get to come through on blogger):

Dearest Desiree,

If you are not yet spoken for, your devoted co-workers ardently wish to dine with you in the luncheon hour of Wednesday next, the nineteenth day of November, at the eating establishment of your choice, to commemorate the approaching anniversary of your celebrated nativity.

Respondez s’il vous plait regarding your availability on the date in question. We await, tremulously and with bated breath, the desired response.

Fondly and Ever Yours,
The Collective Researchers of UC Davis

Of course I couldn't respond with just a simple yes so the following was my reply:

Dear Collective Researchers of UC Davis,

I would be honored to indulge in culinary delights in the presence of such great women. I am pleased to accept your invitation for the nineteenth day of November and look forward to an hour of feasting and heartfelt conversation.

With sincerest appreciation,
Desi

And finally, the invitation to the office:

Dear C.R. of UCD (sadly lacking our studious friend Flora),

Your presence is requested at the nearby Applebee’s Restaurant between noon and 12:10 pm tomorrow, or as soon thereafter as you may happen to arrive. None would be turned away from these festivities for some mere shift of schedule or trick of timing that may prevent absolute punctuality – six chairs shall be reserved for six hale and hearty comrades well met.

-agd

Although I'm not overly thrilled about having a birthday, not because I care that I'm turning 35, but because I thought I would be at a different place in my life by 35, it was a wonderful time and a very thoughtful gesture.

Now I just need to come up with a thank you as well thought out as the invitation. :)

Snobbery

2008-11-07T13:29:00.000-08:00

I have to admit, I’m a costume snob!

There I said it! No one likes to admit their flaws, and being a snob about anything would certainly be considered a flaw, but if the shoe fits.

All growing up my mom made my sisters and my costumes. She is an excellent seamstress and can make anything her heart desires. Me? Not so much! In recent years I’ve tried to fumble my way through a project or two and it’s only because my Mom tried to teach me about sewing when I was younger, to no avail, but I think a few things stuck so I’m able to muddle through.
Anyway, luckily for me my Mom only has two grandchildren, so she is willing and able to make costumes for us. She has made all but three of Ari’s costumes, and one of those three, she actually did make a lot of and I just helped. Only two of her eleven costumes have been purchased.

Purchased costumes are just not the same!

Every year Ari has gotten rave reviews from everyone we see about her costumes and this year for both of my girls was no different. Devyn wore the costume that my mom and I made for Ari when she was one and looked just as adorable.

Please refer to the following pictures to illustrate where my snobbery comes from:

Please note that in my opinion the costume includes the overall effect including hair and make-up. You certainly wouldn't go to an event that required an evening gown and then throw your hair in a greasy poney tail and not do something with your face now would you? he he he

Oh, and please don't hate me because of my costume snobbery...I really do think your kids are cute all dressed up and having fun. And I'm really only elitist about this one thing, I promise!

DH has also told Ari that she is NEVER allowed to wear make-up because of how grownup she looks when she does (even if it does include black lipstick)!

How I know my husband loves me: Reason #527

2008-10-28T13:47:00.000-07:00

There are so many different reasons why I know my husband loves me, but here is just one.

I hate for things to die! So when DH picked me up for lunch today, we were driving down the road when we drove over the top of something, not realizing until we were going over it that is was a snake. DH could see in the rearview mirror so I immediately asked him if it was still alive and he said he couldn’t tell. We backed up making sure not to run over it. DH got out and sure enough it was just sunning itself and lifted its head and started tasting the air with its tongue to check out DH. During this multiple cars drove by narrowly missing the snake. I told my husband that we couldn’t just leave it there to die, he rolling his eyes at me but got an umbrella out of the trunk. After the snake tried to strike about a dozen times, DH finally got it to the side of the road where it slithered off into the trees. Not every man would stand out there in the middle of the street to save the life of a 2 foot long snake, but DH did because he loves me and he knows it makes me happy. Isn’t he sweet?

Can of Worms

2008-10-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

Note to self: Don't post on something as controversial as Prop 8 and then go on a business trip and not check your blog for 4 days!

Since I rarely get more than a couple of comments on my blog and I got 15 on my last post it's obvious I opened up a can of worms with this one, but obviously with how controversial Prop 8 has been I'm not surprised. I want to give all the comments on my last post the attention that they deserve, and since I was away from work for a business conference I have a lot of work to catch up on. Therefore, I will reply to the comments, but it may take a day or two.

Oh, and thank you for keeping it respectful. I welcome everyone's opinions, but when people start to be disrespectful I don't want them in my little corner of cyberspace.

Stepping up to the Prop 8 table

2008-10-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

I’m about to get a little political on you. I don’t get political around here very often because politics are personal and totally opinion based. I have my opinions and you have yours and that’s ok. I may think you’re an idiot for believing what you do, but hey, just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

So, yesterday I posted about parents that were keeping their kids out of school to make a point to the California Teachers Union. The California Teachers Union gave $1 million to the No on Prop 8 campaign.

For those of you who aren’t from California, because if you are from California you would have to be living in a cave to not know that Prop 8 was, it is a proposition to amend the state constitution to make marriage legal only between a man and a woman.

My church has taken a very strong stance on Prop 8 and has asked member to vote for it and campaign for it and to do everything in their power to get this Proposition passed. I get that. It goes against what my church teaches and believes, but this proposition is an issue that I have struggled with a great deal. I had a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when they read the letter in church asking for people to vote for this measure. My church has never specifically asked me to vote for one thing or another and I like it that way. I personally don’t care if gay people get married or not. I have gay friends that are in significant long term relationships and I don’t see how what they do in the privacy of their own home affects me. I also truly question whether homosexuality is a choice verses something that people are born with, and if it is something they are born with then why shouldn’t they have the right to marry the person that they love. Yes, the Bible teaches that homosexuality is wrong, but it also teaches that we shouldn’t judge other people. That’s where I sit on the issue. I try to love everyone no matter what and if it is wrong then Heavenly Father will deal with it, not me. I didn’t want to be put in the middle. During the multiple times when this has been discussed in church I hated the fact that I live in California at this time because I didn’t want to have to make that choice. My church and the Prophet have asked me to do one thing, but I feel for gay couples and their desire to be able to get married, so I was initially just not going to vote on the issue so I didn’t have to choose between my head and my heart. Now I’m back to being undecided.

As I said before, I don’t care what people do in the privacy of their own homes, but when it starts to affect me, like telling me what my children have to learn in school or by churches tax exempt status or the ability of religious adoption agencies to exclude gay couples because of the religion’s beliefs, that’s when I start to have a problem with it. And by the way, Ari already has read books in school about gay couples. When we first moved here and she was in 2nd grade we picked her up from school and she started telling us about some story they were reading. DH and I looked at each other and used it as a wonderful teaching opportunity that our religion doesn’t believe that Heavenly Father meant for men to marry men or women to marry women, but that we do need to treat everyone nicely and not judge them. So again, I don’t have a problem with her hearing things like that at school because it opens up teaching opportunities at home, but I would like the option to opt her out if I see fit, and a warning before hand so I know what I should be discussing with her.

The No on 8 campaign says that it won’t change churches tax status or what is taught in schools or anything like that, and of course the way it is written it doesn’t. But in Massachusetts where gay marriage is legal it has opened the door for things such as this father who got arrested for trying to opt his first grader out of learning about gay marriage in class. Parents have the right to teach their children what they want or to opt them out of lessons that they don’t agree with, plain and simple and I don’t like the fact that legalizing same sex marriage could make that happen. I also have an issue with the fact that Catholic Charities of Boston had to either place children in same sex households or close their doors, so they closed their doors. If first parents choose to place their children with same sex couples, that is their choice, but a religious agency shouldn’t be forced to do so just because gay couples are allowed to marry. It is because of reasons like this that I’m now leaning toward voting for Prop 8.

My point in sharing all of this relates back to my question of yesterday and the California Teachers Union. So we saw on the news Monday night that there was a state-wide call for parents who were for Prop 8 to keep their kids out of school to oppose the $1million donation. As I said, I’m not totally for or against Prop 8, but I’m really annoyed that the Teachers Union is donating money to a cause that has nothing to do with education. So DH and I talked about it and decided it might be the right thing to do to take a stand. We talked to Ari about all of it and let her make the choice as to whether or not she wanted to stay home from school yesterday and the reason for it. She initially wanted to go to school because she said she would be “bored” at home so she headed off. A couple minutes later she called DH and said she had thought about it and decided she felt like it was the right decision to stay home. I was proud of her for making that hard decision. DH even ended up having a good conversation about it with the principle of her school. I got a call 7 minutes into the school day asking about Ari’s absence (talk about being on top of things) because we hadn’t called yet, and I explained the reason for the absence. Well, she didn’t understand so the Principal called back to find out exactly why Ari wasn’t going to be in school that day and DH told him why we were doing what we did. He hadn’t heard of the donation or the protest (we live in a VERY liberal community) but was supportive of our decision as parents.

All this rambling to say, we live in interesting times and I think it’s good for Ari to learn to stand for what she believes while she is still young.

California Parents, Are you keeping your kids home from school?

2008-10-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

Have you heard about the protest against the California Teachers Union in regards to Prop 8 and are you keeping your kids home from school today? I just caught the article below on the late news last night so I haven't heard much about it and I'm curious if others are doing it. Let me know.

Parents Organize Prop. 8 Support Protest In School
SACRAMENTO (CBS13) ― In response to a controversial contribution by a California teachers union, some parents are organizing an effort to keep their kids home for the day and cost public schools money.The California Teachers Association says their members are fighting to keep gay marriage legal because they stand for equality. With cash contributions to anti-Proposition 8 efforts falling short of the opposition, the union injected $1 million into campaign coffers to continue the ad blitz.Supporters of Proposition 8 now have a proposition of their own: They're behind an online effort to keep kids home from school Tuesday. The organizers say for every student who misses school for personal reasons costs the school money, and are banking that high numbers will send a big message.The e-mail says, "Many Calfiornia [sic] public school students are going to be sick and absent from school on Tuesday, October 21st… Many are puzzled why the professional group hired to educate them is spending so much money to push their own social agenda."The chain e-mail also urges teachers supporting Proposition 8 to send a statement of their own: "With all those students out sick, many California public school teachers intend to demand $300 political refunds from their union dues."The CTA did not comment on how much they've donated to other California propositions for this election cycle.

Quizzes

2008-10-09T16:20:00.000-07:00

A couple of my friends had quizzes on their blogs recently so I thought I’d play along.
My friend Nicole posted this one. I am not the dream housewife of the 1930s, but my husband loves me anyway so that will have to do :)

As a 1930s wife, I am
Average

Take the test!

(Please note that this is 52 out of 100 so it's not that great)
My friend Shauntae (her blog is private or I would link you) posted this one. All and all it’s fairly accurate, especially considering it trying to figure out my personality from my feet!?!

What Your Feet Say About You:

You are pretty average in your expressiveness. You can express yourself well, but you don't always want to.

You are a very passionate person. You are highly charged and easily inspired.

You are an assertive person at times. You'll pull out all the stops to get what you want, if it's worth it.

You take a while to fall in love, but once you do, you stay pretty attached to your partner.

You are not easily frightened, but you have a few strong phobias.

You are intellectual and philosophical. You are more concerned with thoughts than action.

You are an amazingly hard worker. You aren't spoiled and you don't mind getting your hands dirty.

You are easily influenced by other people. You're quite impressionable, so you should only be around people who are a good influence.

What Do Your Feet Say About You?

Dedicated to my husband

2008-10-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

Listen to this song (it also includes the lyrics if you want to read along)!

This is exactly how I feel about my husband!

I didn't post on his birthday (back in September) and I feel a little remiss about that, but in my defense, he NEVER reads my blog so he doesn't know if I blog about him or not. Quite honestly that's a good thing most of the time since he is a very private person and wouldn't be happy that I post about him at all...so yeah, don't tell him ok!

Anyway, I was just listening to some random songs on my mp3 player when this song came on and I knew I had to post about what an awesome husband I have. He is thoughtful and kind, yet incredibly strong when I need him to be. He is also very sarcastic, just like me. He's a great Dad and a wonderful protector.

He would do anything for me too. The other day we had walked to Ari's soccer game which was about a mile and a half away. Not far, but I jokingly complained about walking home after sitting out there in the 95 degree heat and asked my husband if he would walk home and get the car to pick me up. He said "sure", I was of course kidding, but Ari said quietly to me, "that's so sweet, do you think he'd really do that?" I replied "I know he would, because he loves me," and he would have too if I'd been serious. That evolved into a whole conversation about how it's a parents job to teach their children and make them into strong human beings (because he said he wouldn't do it just for her)but his he guessed that meant it was his job to make me soft and weak :)

Anyway, listen to my little dedication to my husband. He is wonderful and he deserves it and so much more.

11 months old

2008-10-03T12:23:00.000-07:00

I can’t let the day go by without acknowledging that my baby is 11 months old today. Where did the time go? It’s kind of surreal… on one hand I cannot believe that she hasn’t always been a member of our family. She fits so perfectly and I can’t remember a time that she wasn’t a part of us, and yet it seems like just a couple months ago that she was born.

She is an amazing baby, people at church or at my office who see her on a fairly regular basis ask if she ever fusses or cries because they have never heard her. I can attest that she does get fussy if she is tired, but she is just such an amazing little girl. She does have a temper on her though, and we call her angry as a nickname at home because if she doesn’t get what she wants she will kind of ball up her fists with her arms straight out and clench her jaw. I figure we’re in trouble with this one as she grows up! We figure nicknaming her angry probably isn’t the nicest thing to do though, but have thought of figuring out how you say angry in another language so that not everyone knew what our nickname meant :) Do you speak a foreign language and have any suggestions?

In August Ari, was 9 and Devyn was 9 months so I took their pictures together, so then last night I realized that it was the last day to get pictures of my 10 year old and 10 month as seeing as Devyn turned 11 months old today, but alas, she was tired and I got no good pictures. Oh well!

(Can you tell she's getting tired?)

Calling all First Parents...

2008-10-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

This post is in regards to adoption. For an explanation of the term First Mother, check out what Michelle has to say. It’s an older post, but she says it so perfectly that I thought it was easier to link to it than to reiterate what she has to say.

Now that you understand the term, if you are one, go here. It is a survey for anyone who is either a First Mother or First Father who have relinquished a child. "The purpose of this survey is to apprise [sic] the long term effects and attitudes of mothers (and fathers) who have lost children to adoption, particularly in terms of any “promises” or expectations of confidentiality. Accurate data regarding attitudes, perceptions, beliefs and practices affecting parents in these situations is vital in formulating upcoming legislation in areas of family preservation, foster care and adoption. We hope this survey will be the most comprehensive study of parents who surrendered parental rights or whose rights were terminated resulting in their children being either adopted or remaining in foster care."

Have a great Friday!

What does Diversity mean to you?

2008-10-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

To be honest, growing up in Idaho I wasn’t exposed to a whole lot of diversity. Idaho Falls is a little more diverse then a lot of the state because of the INL that brought educated people from around the country, which in turn brought people of different races, ethnicities and nationalities, but unfortunately that’s still not saying much. The LDS church is also the predominate religion in the area, and being a member of that church I was yet again not a member of any minority.

My parents weren’t all that keen on me learning about other religions either. In high school a friend of mine was Catholic and invited me go to the Christmas Midnight Mass with her. I thought it would be fun so I told my parents I wanted to go, but I think my mom cried the entire time I was gone because she thought I was going to convert. I’m not blaming my parents for this fact, they did what they thought was best, I just believe knowledge is power. I have now attended Catholic Mass a few times in my life and because of that experience I have a greater knowledge of my own faith and what I do believe. I have also attended Baptist and Presbyterian congregations as well, and if anything it has only enhanced my beliefs in my religion.

So, along this line of reasoning, I find it important to expand my horizons and knowledge of those who look different, think different or act differently than I. I also want to expose my children to all types of different people and cultures, and last Friday night we had one of those opportunities. In 2001, right after the events of September 11th the Muslim Student Association (we live in a college town) wanted to share their beliefs with the community to help people not familiar with the Muslim people or religion to have a better understanding of who they are and what they believe because of all the negative backlash from the terrorist events. They created an event during the month of Ramadan called “Fast for a Day” and it has turned into an annual event that everyone in the community has the opportunity to attend. From what I understand it has grown immensely over the years (we didn’t live here when it first started) but I was definitely still one of the few blonds (well, it’s getting dark blond now, but that’s not the point) in a sea of black hair. This was sad to me because it’s such a wonderful opportunity to go and mingle and learn about our fellow brothers and sisters in this human race.

They suggest that you fast for the day between 5:30 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. on the day of the event, because during Ramadan Muslims fast during daylight hours to “strive to purify themselves through extra acts of worship, self-restraint (thus the fasting), charity, and other good deeds.” This is to help you better understand the culture and religion, and also to help put you in the right frame of mind. DH and I fasted out of respect for those who were putting on the event (we didn’t feel that it would be necessary to have Ari fast because her concentration at school would have plummeted). I’m guessing not a lot of non-Muslims do the fasting part because one of the hosts was chatting with us and said something to the effect of “you probably didn’t fast” and when we responded that we had he was seemed shocked and asked us about our experience. Later I thought I should have used that as an opportunity to help him better understand our religion and should have explained that we too fast, monthly, for our religion, so it wasn’t a new experience to us. However, that would mean I was quick thinking, which I’m not, I always think of good things to say once a conversation is over. I blame it on my shyness. I have a hard time carrying on a conversation with strangers to begin with.

Anyway, this was the second year we went (last year I didn’t fast because I was pregnant at the time and we had to leave early because Ari had previously made plans with a friend so we didn’t get to stay for dinner) and I am in awe of how spiritual of an experience it is. During the call to prayer, the melodic chanting (I don’t know the correct term for it, but I’m sure you’ve heard it on TV or in movies, where they are almost singing in Arabic) is beautiful and I can definitely feel the spirit in the room. I believe there is truth in most if not all religions and whether we have it all right or not, I believe God knows the true intentions of our hearts and loves each and every one of his children.

Dinner was good, and that’s saying something since I’m not all that adventurous when it comes to culinary adventures, but DH was disappointed because he said the dinner we missed the year before looked and smelled amazing. Since he’s been to the Middle East/Asia on many occasions and he loves to try new foods he was looking forward to having some authentic food. I was just glad it wasn’t too unusual ;)

Now, all this being said, it does not mean that I plan on ferrying my children around to a different church every week so they can experience every religion there is. I have found the religion I believe in and the beliefs and values I want to raise my children with, so we go to our church every Sunday. But, I will continue to seek out opportunities to show them that ours is a world full of differences that are wonderful and good and to be accepting of everyone else for who they are and what they believe.

So, what does diversity mean to you…is it people who look differently than you, act differently than you, think differently than you and what if anything do you do about it? Do you like learning and getting to know those that are different than you or is it a scary unknown?

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-09-12T16:09:00.000-07:00

( I couldn't find a picture of just my mom, so here she is with my Dad and my two girls!)

I just want to post a quick note to say Happy Birthday to my Mom. She is far and away the best Mom anyone could ever ask for. (Just ask Ari, she tells me she wants me to be more like my mom :-)

I love her so much and I'm so grateful for all she did for me and all that she taught me growing up. (Click here to read a little more about her)

Have a wonderful birthday Mom, and know that we are missing you today.

School Fundraiser

2008-09-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

I know we all have kids that are doing their own school fundraisers, so this post is geared mostly to family, but feel free to participate if you so choose!

If you go to this website and put in Ari's student number, which is R37298D, you can then shop and order. Ari thanks you for taking a look :)

Ari asked me to put this post up on my blog about her school fundraiser. It opened yesterday and it closes on September 22.

Someone to watch over me

2008-09-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

Are you ever just going along with your day and then realize that you are truly being watched over?

Last night was a pretty typical night for us. We only have one car which can make life extremely difficult at times. I work from 7:30 to 4:30 so DH can then take the car and drive to the next town over for his night classes (pre-requisites for PA school). Taking the bus or riding bikes is not an option because there just isn’t enough time between when I get off work and he has to be at school and somebody has to be home to watch Devyn. So last night Ari had Euro-soccer practice. Every year the soccer league she plays in brings in these guys from Ireland or Scotland to work with the kids on their soccer skills. (Because, you know, Europe and pretty much every other county in the world does soccer better than us). Anyway, we live close to the field where Ari has her normal soccer practices, but the Euro-soccer was a ways away. There just wasn’t enough time to get home from work and bike to her practice in time. Therefore, we dropped Ari off at soccer, I drove DH to the next town over for class, then drove back to pick up Ari, feed Devn, fix dinner and do a few odds and ends before turning around and going back to the next town over to make a trip to Target (because our liberal town doesn’t have one) before picking DH up from class.

Yes, I know this is a long story and it’s about to get longer so bear with me.
So we’re on way home and DH is driving on a couple country roads because it’s a more direct route than the highway. I was reading The Time Thief (The second book in The Gideon Trilogy, which I HIGHLY recommend by the way) so I wasn’t fully aware of what was about to transpire.

*Just a side note, have I mentioned that we love to read as a family? Every time we are going anywhere where we will be in the car for more than 10 minutes at a time we read. I love this habit that we have gotten into and we’ve found some great books that we all enjoy this way. Sorry for the interruption, I just thought I’d share that with you because it’s a great pass time in the car.*

So, we’re driving down a pretty deserted road that has a huge field to our right, and have to slow down to make a left turn onto a road that T-bones into the one we are on. No sooner had we cleared the intersection than I heard tires squealing and then I hear my husband say “Oh Crap! Somebody’s going to be hurt.” I of course had stopped reading at this point and I’m craning my neck to see what DH can see in his rear-view mirror. It’s dark out so all I can see are red taillights way off the road and dust flying everywhere being lit up by the headlights and taillights of that car. We turned around and pull over. DH is a certified EMT, and although he doesn’t actually work as an EMT, he always carries a medical kit in the car for emergencies. He grabs his kits and takes off, while I stayed in the car with the two girls and dialed 911. The car literally went all Dukes of Hazard and flew up in the air before landing a hundred feet away (true story, the police even paced it out), probably rolling twice (according to the police when they got there, because we were, after all, going the opposite direction and it all happened in a matter of seconds.

The two guys in the car are probably late teens early 20s and are beyond drunk and were getting all combative with DH. DH stayed there to flag down the emergency vehicles with his flashlight and talk with them about what had transpired since he got there. DH is on the CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) team here in town and knows some of the firefighters, so he got pretty much the whole scoop of what was going on. To make a very long story a little bit shorter, they blew at 3 times, yes I said that correctly, 3 TIMES the legal limit of alcohol.

(Our view as we were waiting for what seemed like forever)

After all was said and done and I really stopped to reflect on the situation after sitting there for an hour waiting for the police to take our statement and everything I was pretty upset that the irresponsible actions of a couple of kids could have very easily destroyed my family. As it is, we are all fine and our lives go on like normal, but if we had been literally two seconds later I’m not sure any of us would still be here. According to the police they were traveling at around 85 miles per hour when they hit the ditch on the other side of that road. They flew for over 100 feet and rolled at least twice. Can you imagine what that would have done to us if they had broadsided our car? DH said the driver was very thoughtful and concerned and said he was sorry and just kept saying things like “my mom is going to kill me” and “I’m going to jail, I’m going to jail” and I do feel for him because I know that we all make mistakes, but when his mistake almost destroyed my family my compassion lessens a little. Luckily neither one of them was seriously injured, and they were both taken away in handcuffs. When we got home we thanked our Heavenly Father for watching out for us last night as it could have so easily ended with a different outcome.

I wonder how many times we are being watched over when we don’t see the eminent disaster by way of squealing tires and almost accidents so we have no idea that we were being watched over in the first place. So today I’m grateful for all those times when Heavenly Father has made everything ok and I didn’t even realize it!

Are you picky when it comes to matching?

2008-09-03T06:44:00.000-07:00

Remember the shoes at the end of this post?

I loved them so much that I had to get them, but Devyn had nothing to wear them with. So what do you do when you have a pair of shoes and nothing to match? Why you make something of course! This is no small feat for someone who is NOT a seamstress, but I’m picky enough that I had to try.

I found a really cute eyelet lace material that looked good with the shoes and found a pattern that said it was easy and away I went. I had to make it harder than it should have been of course because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t make everything I did harder is some way or another. By choosing the eyelet I had to line the fabric, and since the edge was just finished with biased tape I couldn’t quite figure out if I should sew the material to the lining first or what. So, I called my mom, who is an amazing seamstress and got some advice before moving on. Then came the biggest challenge of all. I couldn’t find a dusty rose colored biased tape and didn’t like any of the colors I could find. So what did I do? I made my job even harder, that’s what I did. I then attempted to make my own biased tape out of the scraps of dusty rose colored eyelet fabric. I was cursing myself through that process, but in the end I’m glad I went to that extra effort. And I think it turned out pretty cute, for a non-seamstress, if I do say so myself!

We've Come a Long Way Baby

2008-08-29T16:17:00.001-07:00

I love, regardless of my political beliefs, that as of this November we will see either a minority as The President, or a woman as The Vice President.

Anyway you look at it, history is being made. One of the things I love the most about it is that I get to share it with my 10 year old daughter who is biracial like Obama and a woman like Palin. It's a little affirmation to her that anything is possible for her.

No matter who you believe in or who you vote for I think it's pretty cool!

Back to School

2008-08-28T21:17:00.000-07:00

New Clothes: $200

New Shoes: $100

New Backpack: $30

New lunchbox: $15

School supplies: $20

Meeting your teacher and gearing up for a new year: Priceless

Disclaimer: These prices are purely estimated and not in any way intended to be a true representation of the actual prices. If you cannot find these items for these prices Do Not think you can sue me for misrepresentation!

And lest you think that Ari was happy about me taking her picture on the first day of school this is her when I told her I wanted to take a picture of her first day.

Then I told her to at least try and look happy and I got this!

The thrill of the chase? OR Afraid to get caught?

2008-08-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

This cracks me up every time I watch it so I just had to post it.

Double Digits!

2008-08-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

I am a little tardy in wishing my sweet Ari a happy 10th birthday (so I’m back dating this to her actually birthday). I wanted to put together a cute little slide show of my favorite pictures of her and post it on her birthday but I didn’t get it done and I don’t have most of my favorite pictures of her scanned into my computer (my pre-digital days) so here are just a few shots of her though the years.

Ari and I have an amazingly special relationship. It was just she and I for the first six years of her life until DH and I got married. She probably grew up faster than most kids because she was my best friend. One time when she was 4 or 5 years old I she overheard me talking about my struggles with money being a single parent. She came in and dumped two hands full of change into my lap and said that I could have it because I needed money. Oh course I let her know that it was very sweet of her to offer, but mommy wanted her to keep her money.
We did everything together. As much as I love my husband and now Devyn, sometimes I miss those days that it was just she and I. We were so much closer then and she would tell me everything. I know she is growing up and that separation is just a part of her becoming more independent, but I miss the closeness sometimes.

Ari is amazingly smart, sweet and caring. She LOVES to cook and has always been “creative” in the kitchen. Grandma was always better at letting Ari make a mess in the kitchen while making her “experiments” then I was, but she is now turning into quite the chef.
She is very thoughtful too. I remember in 1st grade when her teacher told me that Ari had been volunteering to stay inside during some recesses to help a fellow classmate who was special needs to work on math together. Ari had never mentioned it because to her it was no big deal. To me as her mom I was so amazingly proud.

Ari and I are both very bull headed so we definitely butt heads sometimes, but she is the most amazing daughter and I am so proud to be her mom!

As for her actual birthday celebration we ate sticky buns (I know, I know, my husband makes fun of my family's name for them but they are a birthday tradition and sooo good) for breakfast, then opened presents. Aside from going to see Wicked in LA, she got a skateboard (have I mentioned she's a tomboy?) with all the protective gear (I know, but I'm a mom and she has to have it), some books, a new outfit and an I-dog from Devyn! Devyn loves the I-dog almost as much as Ari. I should get a video and post it, too cute!

Then we went to the California Pizza Kitchen for lunch and the Cheesecake Factory for dessert (her choices, but I totally agree with them :)

After that we finished the day going to see The Longshots. Not the greatest movie in the world, but inspiring for a young girl, which was nice.

The next day she had her party at the swimming pool. I loved it because they take care of everything.

pizza

cake

party favors

drinks

plates, cups, napkins

decorations

hostess who runs around and plays with the kids

I know it costs a little extra, but not much when you figure in all you get. It is totally worth not stressing over getting it all done myself. Not to mention we don't have a yard and a townhouse to boot, where would I put all those kids anyway?

Anyway, it all turned out really well and I think Ari had a great time. Happy Birthday sweet girl and welcome to double digits!

Night of the Living Dead

2008-08-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, not really, but it’s too cute.

Devyn took her first two independent steps on August 5th (you as readers probably don’t really care, but I have to get this down for posterities sake). I was so excited that I called DH in the middle of this class to tell him. They were only two steps and then she fell directly on her little bum, but I’m a mom, I get to be excited about things like this. The next day while I was at work DH tried to get her to recreate it to no avail. Then that night, while he was again at class, she walked three steps and then fell. The next day my parents arrived in town and she just kept walking a few steps at a time, getting up to five or six in a row, but DH was still in class taking his final. I sent him a really crappy video so he could see, which of course he thought was adorable. She finally walked for Daddy later that night after he got home from his class.

Well, then we went on vacation and she was strapped in car seats and strollers all the time, completely messing with her new found ability to walk, but whenever we got to a place where she could be let out and walk she did. She’s still getting the hang of it so she holds her arms out in front of her, just like a zombie in those really bad horror movies, to keep her balance. It’s too cute. I tried to get a video of it, but I don’t think you get the full effect of night of the living dead, but I'm afraid she's about to become a holy terror!

I have so much to say since I've been gone so long with the vacay and all, but it will have to wait for another time. Be watching for all my wonderful commentary on everything Southern California though:)

We're Off to see the Wizard...

2008-08-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to post a little something about how we are going on vacation for the next 10 days and I was really thinking in terms of the “we’re off” part of that phrase, when I realized that it’s quite literal. Ari’s birthday is the week after our vacation and we decided to surprise her with taking her to Wicked while we are in LA. I’m so excited. She LOVES the music and DH and I were lucky enough to see it while in Chicago last year for my work conference and have wanted to take her ever since. I can’t wait to see how excited she is.

This will be the longest vacation I’ve taken in probably 20 years. We don’t really do big vacations and such and it will be Ari’s first time at Disneyland. I’m already tired just thinking about all that we are going to try and pack into 10 days.

3 day park hopper to Disneyland
Universal Studio
Walk of Fame/Grauman’s Chinese Theater (pretty much as a side note since we will be staying with a family friend that lives a few block away)
The beach (haven't decided which one yet)
Sea World
San Diego Zoo
Wicked

(We got our tickets from Citypass...I would highly recommend it for big vacations like this)

I’m going to need a vacation from my vacation!

Have a great 10 days.

Refining Fire

2008-08-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it through the lesson I had to give. For a refresher on what I'm talking about go here.

I'm sure the entire first row could hear my heart beating because I was so nervous, but all things considered it went pretty well. I used the book "If God Loves Me, Why This?" as my inspiration. I actually didn't finish reading the book, but I used it as a starting point for my research. What I've read so far is good though. It's very common sense stuff that we just need to be reminded of sometimes.

I ended my lesson with a story that I have seen a couple of times and it was so well received (a number of women asked for a copy of the story at the end) that I decided to post it here in case anyone who reads my blog might enjoy it also.

Refining Fire

Some time ago, a few ladies met to study the scriptures. While reading the third chapter of Malachi, they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: "And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver"(Malachi 3:3).

One lady decided to visit a silversmith, and report to the others on what he said about the subject. She went accordingly, and without telling him the reason for her visit, begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver. After he had fully described it to her, she asked, "Sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?" "Oh, yes ma'am," replied the silversmith; "I must sit and watch the furnace constantly, for, if the time necessary for refining is exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured." The lady at once saw the beauty and comfort of the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." God sees it necessary to put His children into the furnace; but His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure.

Before she left, the lady asked one final question, "How do you know when the process is complete?" "That's quite simple," replied the silversmith. "When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining process is finished."
-Author Unknown

I hope someday I will be "refined" enough that God will be able to "see" his image in me!

Well I'm a leavin' on a jet plane

2008-08-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

Ari went to visit Grandma and Grandpa on Wednesday...

and we miss her already!

Do you have $1

2008-07-28T11:36:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I donated $10 to an organization that was trying to get the most $10 donations on Facebook. Whichever organization got the most $10 donors got $50,000 or something like that for their organization. I thought it was well worth my $10 so it was that venture that got me signed up on Facebook in the first place and how I have reconnected with some good friends that I would not have otherwise reconnected with. This post however really has nothing to do with Facebook though.

The organization I donated to is Love Without Boundaries, they helps families in China get life saving operations for their children. So often these families just abandon their children because they can’t afford these operations and they hope that someone will adopt their child so they can have the operations and live. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have to say goodbye to your child forever so they can get the help that they so desperately need. The operations cost $5000 and the average monthly income is $50 so they can’t even begin to fathom how to get the money. I got an email today that Love Without Boundaries is doing a $1 campaign and trying to raise $5000 for one of these operations. Obviously they need 5000 donors to get to their $5000 goal. I know that I have $1 to spare, do you?

You can either just pop $1 in the mail to Love Without Boundaries at:
Love Without Boundaries

P.O. Box 25016

Oklahoma City, OK 73125-0016

or donate $1 online at http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/

or donate through Facebook by clicking "donate" and then choosing "other" and putting in $1.

Me – Visually Summed Up

2008-07-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

My friend Nicole did this on her blog and I thought it was an interesting idea to sum oneself up in twelve pictures, so here I am:

1. Desi(Red), 2. cpk, 3. nov8-005, 4. Black & White, 5. There's just no one like you !, 6. Diet "Pepsi" & baby, 7. Child in Tanzania, 8. Cheesecake, 9. Humanitarian Aid, 10. Raccoon Family, 11. insecure, 12. Sumatran Tiger

Try it out yourself and then come back and leave me a comment so I can go and see what you look like in 12 pictures or less :)

Here’s how you do it:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.b. Using only the first page, pick an image.c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker.

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favorite food?

3. What high school did you go to?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

6. Favorite drink?

7. Dream vacation?

8. Favorite dessert?

9. What you want to be when you grow up?

10. What do you love most in life?

11. One word to describe you.

12. Your favorite animal?

Swim Ari Swim...Whoo Hoo!

2008-07-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

I can attest that you don't die of heat exhaustion by sitting poolside for an hour in 109 degree weather. I did it and I’m still alive to tell about it.

As I mentioned before Ari had her first ever swim-a-thon yesterday and she was amazing. It was so hot they were spraying down all the swimmers with a hose when they got to our end of the pool (hey what about all us lap counters who aren’t in the water staying at least somewhat cool?)

Ok, ok, I know back to Ari and her swimming. They had to swim as many laps as they could in one hour and since the most laps Ari had over swum before at one time was 4 (and she was tired after that) I didn't figure she would get more than 20 maybe 25 laps before she was just too tired to go anymore. She blew me away, she swam exactly 50 laps! Here’s how it went down:

And she’s off, look at her go. That’s an awfully strong pace for her to try and keep up for an hour. I think she’s going to have to slow it down and settle into a groove if she’s wants to have any endurance left for the second half of this swim-a-thon.

It’s fifteen minutes in and Ari is at 15 laps and looking very tired. A lap a minute…can she continue with this pace?

It’s been a half hour and Ari is stopped at the side of the pool. She looks exhausted and she is only half way through with her time. How will she go on?

I think Ari might be done! It’s 45 minutes in and her breaks on the wall keep getting longer and longer. Will she quit? Will she end now with 40 laps under her belt? 40 laps is nothing to sneeze at, the average for her age is between 40 and 60 laps so at least she got to 40 right? Oh no, she’s not going to stop now, she has fifteen more minutes to go and she’s no slacker!

There are 2 minutes left and she had two laps to go to get to 50 laps. (I went to the edge of the pool and told her how close she was to 50 laps and encouraged her to swim hard and swim fast) She went for it and swam hard, go Ari, go…Yes!!! She made it, 1 hour and fifty laps later she reached a huge accomplishment. Good job Ari!

Because she did so well we told her we'd take her to dinner where she wanted to go (within reason) and she choose In-and-Out. I hate in and out, but it was her reward so I sucked it up it wasn't too bad this time! Check here to see a little about my distain for In-and-Out. People swear by this place and drive far distances to get there, I just don't get it. It’s not only the raw burgers either, their fries taste like they’ve been freeze dried or something before they rehydrated them to fry them up. They swear they use fresh potatoes, but come on, I’m from Idaho, I know my potatoes and those are nothing of the sort, but I digress. Good job Ars(my nickname for Ari, sounds like the plural form of the letter R) for a trying so hard and accomplishing so much. You did awesome!

What would you like to learn?

2008-07-08T14:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, I’m pretty much terrified of public speaking. It’s interesting because whenever I tell people this who have seen me speak they don’t believe me and say that I’m a natural; perfectly at ease, when in reality, my heart is beating so hard and so fast that I feel like it’s going to beat right out of my chest.

Well, I’m the Relief Society secretary for my Ward which is pretty innocuous, except a member of the presidency is in charge of the first Sunday of the month lesson, and my turn is in August. Now that the first Sunday in July is over with I’m already getting nervous because my turn is next. I realize there are other lessons between now and then, but mine is the next presidency lesson! I know there is nothing that I can teach that the women in my ward don’t already know more about then I do so that is a little nerve wracking also.

Here’s where you come in. I need a theme for my lesson. I need to pray for an inspired theme, which I will do, but I figure if I have some ideas in mind it might help the inspiration come. So, what are some Relief Society lessons that you’ve had that you particularly enjoyed or a motivational topic that you would like to learn more about? And, along with any great topics, great resources would also be appreciated. I like visuals or music to go along with my lessons, so if you know of books or articles or songs that would help “drive home” the message let me know those too and I’ll head on over to Deseret Book online and pick up one or two.

One of topics that I was thinking about was Finding Peace…

I found these books online and thought they might have some good info. Has anyone read them? Would this topic interest you? Do you know of any songs that might go along with this subject?

Another topic was either Judging Others, or Judging Ourselves Against Others Accomplishments. Would either of these interest you? Do you know of any songs that might go with this subject?

I’m totally open to suggestions so comment away!

Oh, and thanks for your help.

* I forgot to mention that the lesson needs to apply to women between the ages of about 25 -85. Tell me that that's not quite the span of ages. :) *