Mean Mom!

My Mom sent me an email today that totally resonated with me (see below).

Last night Ari was complaining on the phone to my mom that because I was mean and wouldn’t change her bedtime she couldn’t stay up late enough to watch American Idol. This subject has been a source of ongoing turmoil because everyone else she knows has a later bedtime then her. This may well be true, but Ari is like me (I need my sleep) and is horribly grouchy and just plain can not function properly when she doesn’t get enough sleep. She came to me about a month ago with a note that said something like “sign here if you love me enough to change my bedtime to 9:00” with two signature lines, one for me and one for DH. After I finished laughing, I wrote my own note on the back stating that if she made it to bed on time for 6 weeks straight (getting to bed on time is also a problem so why bother changing her bedtime when she rarely makes it to bed by that time anyway) then maybe we would change her bedtime. Both DH and I signed the reverse side of the note, but that wasn’t good enough so that tabled the discussion for a while. That is until she wanted to watch American Idol last night and decided that yet again I was a mean mom.

Then this morning she again was complaining that all the other kids got to do stuff without their parents except for her. Trying to get to the root of the problem I asked her what kinds of things they were allowed to do without their parents. She listed off things like going to the local skating rink, hanging out at the skateboarding park after school and “I don’t know, just everything.” Well, the local skating rink has two open skate times a week, Friday nights at 7 p.m. and Sunday afternoons. Since we don’t allow her to do activities like that on Sunday, that leaves Friday night and there are a lot of “older” kids that hang out there at that time. We do let her go and we always let her bring a friend, but we also always stay so we can keep an eye on what’s going on. Of the friends that she has invited each of their parents have been leery about even letting them go until we tell them that we stay the whole time and then they are ok with it. Obviously we aren’t the only ones that are concerned.


As for the skate park it’s not far from our house and we have walked past it many times. There never fails to be all kinds of activities going on that I wouldn’t want my high school student around including kids smoking pot when they don’t think anyone can see, let alone my nine year old. The skate park shares a fence with the dog park where we often take Dante to play, and let me tell you they aren’t hiding anything from anyone, but this is not a place I want my nine year old hanging out, period. So, yes I guess I am a mean mom, but someday if she makes it to adulthood in one piece I hope she’ll thank me for being so mean.

(Plus, with a daughter this cute I should be worried!)

I know that I am a cautious parent, but unfortunately in today’s society I think you have to be. There were so many things that I did as a child that I wouldn’t even consider letting my child do. Simple things like walking a few blocks away to a friend’s house, or riding my bike a couple of miles to swimming lessons. As she has gotten older there are more and more things I let her do because she does need increased independence as she grows up, but I will never be able to allow her to have the same independence I had for the mere fact that society is a scary place these days. I love her and if it takes being a mean mom to keep her healthy and safe then I’m all about being a mean mom. How about you?

Mean Moms

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home. I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a jobthat should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect. I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them. Was your Mom mean? I know mine was.We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast,we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch,we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work.We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers; she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime.It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

I FEEL VINDICATED!

Ok, so we’re driving in the car for a 13 hour car ride back at Christmas time. We have a 7 week old baby at the time, I’m extremely tired and to top it all off I have a husband that likes to make fun of me. Not in a mean vindictive sort of way, but he likes to none the less. We are having some conversation and I use the phrase “faunching at the bit” and my husband is like “what did you just say?” I repeat myself and as he’s laughing he says you mean “chomping at the bit?” No, “faunching” I say though I’m starting to laugh and have a hard time getting it out. When I get really tired, hence the 13 hour car ride and 6 week old baby information, I get really giddy and laugh uncontrollably at some really stupid things. We are both laughing hysterically, he tells me I’m delusional and that there is no such phrase. We end up calling my Mom as soon as we get to an area with cell phone coverage because I know this is a phrase I grew up with. She indeed says it’s a phrase, but she and my two sisters can not come up with proof in the dictionary, the whole time my husband has this “I told you so” look on his face about the whole thing and it has since been a topic of lighthearted ridicule. So the other day I decided to try and do a little research (since that is my profession and all) and found this online Urban Dictionary (be careful what you look up here though, urban is right!). It says:

1. faunch
Faunch: verb, meaning to rage and storm, to fight against fate. "Faunching at the bit" implies waiting in nervous agitation and impatience, like a wild horse that is fighting against a harness. Probably derives from Irish "fonn taodach" - to quote Daniel Cassidy's book, "How the Irish Invented Slang" (p.139) "an impulsive frame of mind, jittery excitation, a fierce humor", taodach meaning "excited, fidgety, quick-tempered." (Cassidy's entry was not defining "faunch", but "fantod." I made the leap myself.
I was faunching at the bit to drive my uncle's new Mustang.

So dear readers, faunching may not be in your standard dictionary but this is good enough for me. I will now be “faunching at the bit” to let my husband know I’m not really an idiot!

Have you ever thought about where some of the phrases you use come from? Here are a few that I’ve wondered about and decided to look up:

• Happy as a clam…seriously how does one know that a clam is happy?
• Close, but no cigar…if I get any closer do I have to have a cagar?
• Speak of the Devil…hopefully no devil’s are appearing around here!
• There’s more than one way to skin a cat…this one was tricky, there doesn’t seem to be a consensus on it’s origins, but this is the best I could find!

This was actually kind of fun finding out where some common phrases come from. So what are some phrases you use?

More backdates...

For those interested I've added a couple more backdated posts from the week of March 24th through the 29th. As I said from the beginning, this blog is for me, and it's much easier for me to keep track of when we did things if I back date them, so you as a reader might not even know they are there. So, if you care, they are there and if not, they are there for me :)

It's Soccer Time!

Ari had her first spring soccer game last Friday night. She played goalie the entire time she was in.



These aren’t the greatest pictures, but I have a couple really good ones from last fall, so I’ll have to find those and post them here later. She’s not one of those kids that has a passion for the game, but she likes it so we keep signing her up. We feel that if nothing else she’s learning sportsmanship and she’s getting physical exercise. She has been playing soccer for 5 years now I think, the longest she’s stuck with anything. She’s done gymnastics, ballet, jazz, tap, ice skating, piano and viola but soccer is the one thing she’s stayed with. She would have loved to continue with ice skating but since we moved to Davis the closest rink is pretty far away and we don’t want to drive that much. We also stopped piano lessons at that time because they are 4 times as expensive as they were in Logan and we just can’t afford that. She is currently in viola, but she’s asked many times to quit so she probably won’t do that anymore after this year either. Not to mention, the California schools are in a huge budget crisis. In our small district alone they handed out pink slips to 90 teachers and support staff for next school year which includes all the music teachers at least at the elementary level. The schools here in Davis are very well known for their high quality of education so it’s a little concerning that they are going to have to cut so many jobs. A few years ago a school foundation was set up to raise funds for the schools and they had a fundraising drive a couple of weeks ago at all the schools to try and “buy back” some of those positions. In one day at Ari’s school alone they raised $70,000. Pretty impressive if you ask me, but unfortunately I’m sure it’s still not enough.

Anyway, back to Ari and her activities. We won’t let her quit things in the middle of a season, greatly to her dismay with viola because all of her friends have dropped out. I feel it’s important for her to learn to stick with things, I hope it builds character not resentment! So what do you think? Is it better to find one or two things for your child and make them stick with them or let them try out a bunch of different things to find out where their passions lie?

Have you heard?

Apparently Snoop Dogg has converted to Mormonism!



DIAMOND BAR, California (AP) — In what some may consider an unexpected move, rap artist “Snoop Dogg” has reportedly converted to Mormonism after nearly a year of study with the fast-growing, Utah-based faith.

Snoop Dogg says he “can’t get enough of the Book of Mormon.”

In a statement, a spokeswoman for Snoop Dogg — whose real name is Calvin Broadus — said he considers himself extremely fortunate to have discovered such a deep sense of spiritual fulfillment at this stage in his life.

“Mr. Broadus is also very pleased to find that his family is as enthusiastic about attending church services as he is,” the spokeswoman said.

However, Snoop Dogg has not been enthusiastic about publicly sharing his experience and declined to be interviewed by CNN for this article. In fact, he reportedly informed producers of his E! reality show “Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood” that this particular aspect of his family’s life was off-limits to the cameras. Still, he left open the possibility of addressing the subject in future episodes.

According to the Associated Press, Snoop Dogg was first introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as the Mormon Church is officially known, after attending a Gladys Knight concert in an LDS meeting house in Los Angeles.

Knight, who very publicly discusses her conversion to Mormonism several years ago, invited Snoop Dogg to what is known to the Mormon faithful as “Family Home Evening,” a church program that encourages families to set aside Monday evenings for gospel-centered lessons and family togetherness.

Though Snoop Dogg has been hesitant to publicly discuss his recent spiritual journey, he commented on the experience of attending his first “Family Home Evening” in a recent interview with People Magazine.

“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”

In what Snoop Dogg now thinks was anything but a coincidence, Mormon missionaries had knocked on his door just one week before the Knight concert. He said he had initially turned them away because of what he knew about the strict Mormon health code, which prohibits members from smoking, drinking alcohol, and using drugs.

“Y’all know me,” he said grinning broadly. “There were just certain things the old me — the “natural man” — needed to do. And these young guys are telling me that God’s not down with disrespecting ourselves. But it’s cool now.”

Snoop Dogg said his conversion marks the end of his old life, one that included frequent run-ins with the law. Snoop Dogg was convicted in 1990 of cocaine possession and charged with gun possession after a 1993 traffic stop. In 1997, he pleaded guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence.

In 1996, Snoop Dogg was acquitted of murder after a purported gangbanger was killed by gunfire from the vehicle in which Snoop Dogg was traveling.

Snoop Dogg dismisses critics who claim his conversion is intended to placate a Salt Lake County judge, before whom he is appealing an alleged probation violation.

“Listen, the haters will say what they will,” Snoop Dogg said. “I can only do what I feel is right.”

Ok, not really, apparently it was an elaborate April Fools Day hoax, but I thought it was funny! And really well done.

5 months old

Devyn is 5 months old today so I thought I'd just share a few fun pictures.

These bathtime pictures are from back in February, but they are just too cute not to share. The bathroom was a little steamy so the pictures are a little foggy, oh well. Devyn loves to kick and play in the tub, but she's not liking leaning back anymore because she wants to sit up.

Devyn can't not have something in her mouth.

If Devyn doesn't have anything else to put in her mouth she just uses her hand!

We got her this cute little bunting outfit to keep her warm in the winter but never used it because she was always in her carrier and covered with a blanket when we were outside. Easter morning was the only time she's worn it because it was a little chilly that morning before it warmed up for the day.

Just some cute shots of her playing on the changing table.

Backdates to come...

I am planning on adding some blog posts about my time at home with the family last week, but I'm going to back date them. I figure if I try to do it all in one post it will be insanely long and not very readable, so keep an eye out for posts dated over about the past week and a half.